[Merry]

Ahhh...a schnoodle! My cousin has a labradoodle named Lucy. She's so sweet but kind of too passive and wimpy for some reason. Can she be taking after her owner? LoL I know where you're coming from about my Mom and her time on earth. She doesn't see her oncologist anymore because she doesn't take treatments so any check ups come from the family doc. I don't know if that's the "right" way to do it, but it's her way, so it must be ok. I'm getting so tired that I don't trust my decision making anymore, I could sleep for a year! I don't think my brother cares about how this is affecting me, he's just happy that his life can go on as usual and that someone else is "doing" for him what his Mama did. They're talking now about the garden and he's telling her how to open up the plastic covering he has on some early plantings....like she has the strength to do it! She is short of breath, her legs hurt, and she tires so easily! CRAP! I wanna live in HIS world! LoLoL

Bonnie....I believe the visiting nurse has told her how much help it would be for me if she was in Hospice but she somehow tunes it out I guess. I think when she's having a good day and "allows" me to go to the river to walk the dog for an hour or so that's my respite and enough for me. When the nurse comes I hope to be home so I can take him aside and speak with him about Hospice and what it all means. I could SCREAM about how I wish I had time to do something I like to do instead of taking care of this grungy house and my lazy brother. Looking after Mom is enough of a job, plus her whacked out dog. I really can't say anything to her about how Hospice would be a help to me because it sounds so selfish and mean of me.
Ahhh helllll....I don't think I'm all that strong....just doin' for my beloved Mom the best I can.
Thanks ladies for your support and allowing me to "ventilate!"

God bless you all...Peace, G