[bejuce]

Hi HER-2ers,

I've always come here for my most difficult questions and you've been nothing short of wonderfully supportive. So here comes another set of questions from me:

1. When does a medical team/family realize that there is nothing more to be done and treatment should be stopped? Is the fact that the patient is in a lot of pain and taking morphine enough?? My dad has only had 2 chemo treatments for his advanced bladder cancer (mets to liver, peritonium and colon) and the doctors are not willing to do anything else. They are saying he is in pain, the cancer is widespread, and his abdomen is all dilated. I'm desperate as I live thousands of miles away and can't talk to the doctor in person. I simply don't understand why they would stop after just 2 chemo treatments. Should I push for another scan? They are not even willing to do more imaging on him...

2. How does one determine whether to keep the patient in life support or not? Do patients suffer when they are entubated or on a respirator? How can I convince the medical team to try everything they can to help my dad?

3. When a patient passes away, is there any benefit in collecting some tumor samples for genetic analysis that can benefit the family members later on? I ask because if this were to help me in any way in the future to determine whether there is some genetic feature in my family that I may be passing on to my kids, I would like to know.

Thank you so much. I'm 12 days away from reaching 4 years from diagnosis and it is killing me to see my dad go through this. He was there for me helping me out and I can't stop thinking that I'm failing him if I don't convince the doctors to try more...

Please pray for my dad and family at this difficult time.

Love,

Marcia