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Andrea Barnett Budin · 07-09-2009, 01:47 PM

Oh dearest Eric,

My heart is with. You and Caryn have fought so very bravely and with such grace, we all stand in awe. It is a true honor to know such remarkable people. Even in the midst of your most challenging trials, we can see that your love has somehow carried you. The love you share with Caryn has been so obviously radiant, I believe you will keep her in your heart forever. Surely, though she has passed on to another realm of being, her Soul endures, and is full of her love for you and for your children. It will be so eternally...

Your strength of character will continue to guide you through this most difficult and unwanted time. I know you will be there for your children, as you are a man who is brimming with an angelic determination and devotion. I so admire you, Eric.

We each need such a hero in our lives, especially as we face this life-threatening disease. Your best friend and the love of your life is at peace now. No more pain. No more struggle. Now watching over you as there is no other place she would rather be. I believe she can hear you, and if you listen very quietly, you will hear her. Feel her presence. Let it comfort it.

Your love kept Caryn fighting on to the very end. It surrounded her and buoyed her. It caressed her and coddled her. You gifted her with that. Good for you.

I am sending you prayers to help console you and know how much your family means to all of us here. Our thoughts are with you. I wish you could feel the hug I am giving you, a token of my solidarity with you. I can feel how heavy this burden has been and I am so very sorry. I deeply want you to know this.

I know you will rally the fortitude to be there for your beautiful children, as they grieve and throughout their lives. Deep inside you, I haven't a doubt that you know how important you are to them, now more than ever. Caryn is counting on you to carry on, for her, and for them.

It is much too soon. I wish, as we all do, that Caryn's life could have been spared, that she could have grown old and gray by your side. I do believe though that this is not the end of Caryn's story. She lives on, albeit in another plane, and will patiently wait for you. She will be there for you with open in arms -- in time. It is not time yet. I so wish it could have different, but we must accept the unacceptable at times. I am shaking my head, wishing I could make it all go away yet aware how helpless I am to do this.

Eric, please trust that you are significantly needed to carry on here, in her name, in her honor...

With much love, Eric,
Andi

07-09-2009, 01:47 PM	#47
Andrea Barnett Budin Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: LAND OF YES! w/home in Boca Raton, Florida Orig from L.I., N.Y. Ever hovering IN THE NOW... Posts: 1,904	Thank you for thinking of us, even now... Oh dearest Eric, My heart is with. You and Caryn have fought so very bravely and with such grace, we all stand in awe. It is a true honor to know such remarkable people. Even in the midst of your most challenging trials, we can see that your love has somehow carried you. The love you share with Caryn has been so obviously radiant, I believe you will keep her in your heart forever. Surely, though she has passed on to another realm of being, her Soul endures, and is full of her love for you and for your children. It will be so eternally... Your strength of character will continue to guide you through this most difficult and unwanted time. I know you will be there for your children, as you are a man who is brimming with an angelic determination and devotion. I so admire you, Eric. We each need such a hero in our lives, especially as we face this life-threatening disease. Your best friend and the love of your life is at peace now. No more pain. No more struggle. Now watching over you as there is no other place she would rather be. I believe she can hear you, and if you listen very quietly, you will hear her. Feel her presence. Let it comfort it. Your love kept Caryn fighting on to the very end. It surrounded her and buoyed her. It caressed her and coddled her. You gifted her with that. Good for you. I am sending you prayers to help console you and know how much your family means to all of us here. Our thoughts are with you. I wish you could feel the hug I am giving you, a token of my solidarity with you. I can feel how heavy this burden has been and I am so very sorry. I deeply want you to know this. I know you will rally the fortitude to be there for your beautiful children, as they grieve and throughout their lives. Deep inside you, I haven't a doubt that you know how important you are to them, now more than ever. Caryn is counting on you to carry on, for her, and for them. It is much too soon. I wish, as we all do, that Caryn's life could have been spared, that she could have grown old and gray by your side. I do believe though that this is not the end of Caryn's story. She lives on, albeit in another plane, and will patiently wait for you. She will be there for you with open in arms -- in time. It is not time yet. I so wish it could have different, but we must accept the unacceptable at times. I am shaking my head, wishing I could make it all go away yet aware how helpless I am to do this. Eric, please trust that you are significantly needed to carry on here, in her name, in her honor... With much love, Eric, Andi __________________ Andi BB '95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive... '98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!) + good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either... Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...