[chrisy]

Dear Kimberly,
I also think this is a totally appropriate subject - and am not surprised by the number of "views" relative to the number of "responses". We all need hope and faith, but in the face of bc diagnoses, both get challenged. It seems there are more questions than answers. I think God is ok with the questions, and always answers whether or not we are listening.
I really did not know if, or how to respond to your question. It's a tall order to give a factual account of my faith or a solid answer to how I hold on.
I am reminded of the story of Mother Teresa (I think) when told that God doesn't give you more than you can handle, responding "sometimes I wish God didn't trust me so much"
I don't know how I hold on, and sometimes I can't. When I can't hold on I basically surrender and admit I'm just not in control - and that God is. And then somehow remarkable things happen, usually unexpected messages of love or hope just when I need them most.
Sometimes I get myself into a little pity party and think how unfair it is that I and my family should have to suffer with this situation. Then I ALWAYS somehow come back to it's not fair that I should have a wonderful husband, sister, and niece and other blessings too numerous to count.
I've always been a believer, but that doesn't stop me from asking the "why me" questions and to be healed and, ok, cured of this disease. With God, all things are possible. And although it's hard, maybe sometimes impossible for me to see the good of this, I do believe God is working for good through this. I hope I'll get a miracle, but whatever, it's in God's hands and I trust in that.
You are not alone.