[Andrea Barnett Budin]

Exactly Steph. Some lymph nodes are enraged/inflamed, a la recent major IBS bout. Nothing more. "Soft tissue" sounds encouraging to me. "Increased mesenteric fat stranding" -- did the Radiologist call me FAT???!!!

However, darn it, they can't do a needle biopsy as w/my liver. Minor surgery is involved w/abdomen. Out patient same surgery, maybe they'll keep me overnight. It is not cancer. I do not have cancer. I had cancer many yrs ago.

Already checking my stored list for pre-surg. Will need some pre op tests. A bother. Need to stop some of my supplements. I think E, Omega, ginkgo, and of course aspirin. No Advil. Fine.

Going Monday to see surgeon. Much fuss over nothing.

Although I do think I have an umbilical hernia. Self dx from Internet. Tehe. My SIL/ob gyn concurs and says to tell them about hernia and they can fix that at the same time, which I've been putting off. Doesn't hurt, doesn't interfere w/bowels, no biggie. Just a tiny bulge above the belly button. SIL says ask to have it done laprascopicly. Sigh.

Years ago my TMs were rising (2 yrs off of Vit H). Concerning. Onc says we'll wait another 3 mnths. I said, No! Well, when then, I said, Next week. He said, Let's compromise, One month. Done. TM's even higher. Not my normal. Wait another month. TMs out of normal range! Terrifying for me. One mnth later -- 13.

Nurse called to tell me. I said, I don't believe it! She said, neither did doc or me, so we retested. 13...!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Plummeted.

In retrospect, I had a virus/flu thing that lasted 3 mnths prior to this. My body must have been all messed up, naturally and my TMs were up. If I never had bc, I wouldn't even have been checking my TMs. Lots of pp must have messed up TMs after a ridiculously long episode of illness and don't even know about it.

If I didn't have scans on Thurs, having had 2 days of major IBS issues, I could have just sailed through. Timing. It is everything.

TMs have stayed put for years. As directed by my thoughts. Remember -- the power of thoughts? Your body hears everything you think, say or whisper!

Will do what I must. It'll be fine.

Not allowing my brain to even entertain other possibilities. But what if -- banned... Will I have to -- not given permission to occupy space in my brain.

Babysitting tonight. Smiling. Feel fine. Well, a little anxious, but will move forward, one step at a time...

Thanks for love. I send it right on back to you all...

Andi