[Trish]

I could "rabbit" on about dogs for ages too. And I'm very guilty about the resources they consume. But I can't help loving Archie never the less.The insights pets give us into the relative contributions of nature and nurture could keep us posting for ages! But I'll cut to your mom (feels strange, we say mum in Australia). When I realised I had a 'terminal" condition (don't we all , its called life?)I started looking for books because I really wanted to know what it was like to die. I'm a believer in hoping for the best and planning for the worst. I had a friend and work colleague who would also read the books so I had someone to share with. My sisters ended up reading the books too which was really great believe it or not. The saddest I read was an account from the point of view of a young woman with cancer (early 30s and 1 year old twins, journalist) with sections from her husband and sister. Close to the end her husband tells of them sitting with the twins at bed time, him with one and her with the other, and her just disconnecting to the point where the little one on her lap (all of 18 months) slid off and joined him and the other twin. That was when death became real to me. It is not being able to be there for those you have sworn to protect with your life. One can really only go there on ones own and you can only let your mom go when the time comes. It's her journey. Just before my mother- in- law died she was very agitated and my husband and his brother were trying to settle her down and make her lie nicely in the bed. She was saying things we couldn't understand and the boys were hanging over the side of the bed asking her what she was saying. Eventually she said "I didn't say anything" and I realised it was time to let her go. It was the last thing I ever heard her say and it was clear that we had to stay behind and have the grace to let her go. She died only hours later. You are doing the best you can but it is her journey. I think you are right it is like birth in that it is one of the two really important events and we can only do it our own way. I hope she doesn't have too difficult an end. I think of you often,
Trish