HER2 Support Group Forums - View Single Post - ~This Sounds So Terrible Of Me, Please Forgive Me

StephN · 08-27-2009, 01:45 PM

Dearest Marie -
Thank you for baring your soul here. It is very well known that caregiving is ultimately hardest on the careGIVER. We call on all the strength and resolve we can muster and try to dole it out to last the duration of the need for the caregiving.

Most of the time, this stress results in some sort of breakdown in the caregiver. I can't describe how exhausted I was after more than nine months of seeing my father try to get better after a 7-way heart by-pass. I had my mom here to help as well. I crashed. My hair was falling out by the handfull like I was on chemo again.

Everyone has a heart full of love and mountains of good intentions to support their loved one through thick and thin. However, being human we become worn down. The emotional roller coaster is a killer. Hospice nurses and their staff are skilled at working with the family as they find them. They are there to bring expertise to your situation.

It is another step and can *seem* like giving up, but from personal experience, this step can open up a new way for you to regain some energy and focus where it does you and Ed the most good.

You are amazingly strong, but the suffering will take its toll. Draw what you can from all of us here and keep walking with us.

08-27-2009, 01:45 PM	#19
StephN Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Misty woods of WA State Posts: 4,128	Re: ~This Sounds So Terrible Of Me, Please Forgive Me Dearest Marie - Thank you for baring your soul here. It is very well known that caregiving is ultimately hardest on the careGIVER. We call on all the strength and resolve we can muster and try to dole it out to last the duration of the need for the caregiving. Most of the time, this stress results in some sort of breakdown in the caregiver. I can't describe how exhausted I was after more than nine months of seeing my father try to get better after a 7-way heart by-pass. I had my mom here to help as well. I crashed. My hair was falling out by the handfull like I was on chemo again. Everyone has a heart full of love and mountains of good intentions to support their loved one through thick and thin. However, being human we become worn down. The emotional roller coaster is a killer. Hospice nurses and their staff are skilled at working with the family as they find them. They are there to bring expertise to your situation. It is another step and can seem like giving up, but from personal experience, this step can open up a new way for you to regain some energy and focus where it does you and Ed the most good. You are amazingly strong, but the suffering will take its toll. Draw what you can from all of us here and keep walking with us. __________________ "When I hear music, I fear no danger. I am invulnerable. I see no foe. I am related to the earliest times, and to the latest." H.D. Thoreau Live in the moment. MY STORY SO FAR ~~~~ Found suspicious lump 9/2000 Lumpectomy, then node dissection and port placement Stage IIB, 8 pos nodes of 18, Grade 3, ER & PR - Adriamycin 12 weekly, taxotere 4 rounds 36 rads - very little burning 3 mos after rads liver full of tumors, Stage IV Jan 2002, one spot on sternum Weekly Taxol, Navelbine, Herceptin for 27 rounds to NED! 2003 & 2004 no active disease - 3 weekly Herceptin + Zometa Jan 2005 two mets to brain - Gamma Knife on Jan 18 All clear until treated cerebellum spot showing activity on Jan 2006 brain MRI & brain PET Brain surgery on Feb 9, 2006 - no cancer, 100% radiation necrosis - tumor was still dying Continue as NED while on Herceptin & quarterly Zometa Fall-2006 - off Zometa - watching one small brain spot (scar?) 2007 - spot/scar in brain stable - finished anticoagulation therapy for clot along my port-a-catheter - 3 angioplasties to unblock vena cava 2008 - Brain and body still NED! Port removed and scans in Dec. Dec 2008 - stop Herceptin - Vaccine Trial at U of W begun in Oct. of 2011 STILL NED everywhere in Feb 2014 - on wing & prayer 7/14 - Started twice yearly Zometa for my bones Jan. 2015 checkup still shows NED 2015 Neuropathy in feet - otherwise all OK - still NED. Same news for 2016 and all of 2017. Nov of 2017 - had small skin cancer removed from my face. Will have Zometa end of Jan. 2018.