[Jen]

http://www.amoena.com/NR/rdonlyres/9...Issue8_Low.pdf
Life is good

Sheila Rawlins
Age 57
Diagnosis 2002
Recurrence 2003

Just when she thought
she was moving on—the
day of her last fill-up for
a tissue expander on her
left side—nurse Sheila
Rawlins felt a lump in her
neck. “I must be having
a reaction to the tissue
expander,” she thought.
“I’ll show the doctor
when I get there. I
wasn’t worried, I felt
great, and was about to
get the ‘new old me’
back.”
For her, the news
that the cancer had
metastasized to her lymph nodes was just as upsetting as
the first diagnosis had been, a year earlier. “How can this
be happening to me…again? Am I going to die?” she
wondered. It was October—Breast Cancer Awareness
month. “Everything was a sea of pink, and I was
drowning in it,” she remembers. Oftentimes, patients
in their second diagnosis can feel left out of all the
“surviving and thriving” excitement of October activities.
Her doctors started her on Herceptin immediately,
which was still fairly new in 2003. Sheila was grateful
because, unlike chemo, Herceptin doesn’t cause nausea
or hair loss—she hated the thought of losing her kneelength
hair. She says, “Actually other than the time it
takes to be administered and a runny nose and eyes, it’s
a walk in the park… but my life was so different, starting
then. I would need constant treatments and medication
the rest of my life. Before, life revolved around fun and
work and children and grandchildren, and now the focus
is survival.”
But survive she has, with the decision to focus on
what she has gained, not what she has lost. “I have
gained many friends, women who are fighting this every
day. I have gained knowledge and power over this
disease…I have gained a new appreciation for things that
I would have never known, I have gained strength to be
positive on this journey, and to help others who may be
on this road.” Finally, another spread to her supraclavicular
nodes required chemotherapy in 2006: Xeloda, and when
that didn’t work, Taxol and Avastin. “I have been blessed
with the most amazing chemo nurse—anyone who can
make you smile through chemo is an angel. And I have
gotten used to not having much hair.”
Each year for the last three, Sheila has traveled to
San Antonio, Texas, for the Breast Cancer Symposium—
a gathering of top oncologists from all over the world. Her
own medical background fuels this desire for information.
“I gain knowledge there about the trials and new treatments,
and I am then able to use this knowledge in my own
care, and help others in my support groups to empower
themselves all they can.”
“As with any disease, I still worry about every ache
and pain, the ifs and whys. But in the end, the most
important thing I have gained is acceptance. Recent CTs
showed some tumor shrinkage in the chest nodes. This is
great! I am getting hair! And eyebrows! This is the new

me, and I am a survivor!”
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That is how Sheila felt "in her own words" after getting the Dx of stage 4. She had a reoccurance 1 year after her initial diagnosis of her2+ breast cancer. Mom saw her cancer Dx as a blessing in disguise that helped her to see life through a new set of eyes. I hope (My Mom)Sheila's words help you on your journey which is NOT over. I sincerely hope I have helped (in some way) by sharing Sheila's message. Although I have not been Dx with cancer myself I feel the need to contribute to this site and help others just like Sheila would do IF she were here. All of my posts on here are made with love as I feel you guys are family like you were to my mom Sheila.

Jen