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Re: Need advise
Clint speaking from a point of view as a wife and a mother of 2 I also have had bouts of feeling guilty for getting cancer. It's not guilt in the sense of what did I do wrong that caused this, it's more of a sense of my feeling like my husband did not sign up for this when he married me and he certainly didn't sign up to have a wife with a mutulated body!
The sense of guilt that one has for putting there family through this can be awful. Sometimes i see it like I can take this cancer but it's do hard to see my family hurt. Us females feel like the core of the family and the guilt when we can't do our jobs can be imense at times. You need to remind your wife that you did sign up for this when you married her. You need to make sure not to shy away from her if she has scars related to the surgeries. Most of all you need to remind her of how much she has done for her family all these years and that now more then ever it's time for her to be taken care of. And to always say this is what you both signed up for and that is to love each other no matter what!
These are all the things that my husband tells me often and it helps with the guilt.
Best of wishes Tamara
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]11/13 Dx IDC left breast
11/19/2013 Inflammatory Breast Cancer stage 3c grade 2 Er- Pr- her2+++
Node involvement suspected based on CT
12/13 port placed
12/13 neoadjuvant DD AC xs 4 rounds started
02/14 taxol/herceptin started every week xs 12 rounds
Herceptin for 1 year
Ki67=23%
BRCA1&2 negative
5/06/14 last round taxol/herceptin. Chemo done!!!
5/07/14 clear CT scan
6/11/14 Bilateral Mastectomy Done
6/15/14 8mm tumor post chemo. Removed by bmx
6/15/14 lymph nodes 0/9
6/15/14 officially Cancer Free
7/11/14 emergency surgery to left breast . Wound refused to heal and broke open. New TE placed
7/28/14 emergency medical procedure now to right breast( post op 6 weeks mastectomy ) wound opens.
8/25/14 - 10/07/14 Radiation
11/24/14 CT of Brain clear
01/23/15 One year Herceptin Complete
02/04/15 Diep done
5/01/15 1 year Ct scan- mass in thymus
6/23/15 repeat CT mass in thymus still present
6/30/15 biopsy thymus 7/03/15 mass Benign! Diagnoses Thymic hyperplasia rebound ( chemo at fault, no long term health effects)
7/08/15 phase 2 diep
11/23/15 phase 2b ( reconstructive surgery with lipo)
03/05/18 Vinnie Myer 3 D nipple tattoos complete.
11/19/2018 5 years since Dx of IBC stage 3c remain NED.
11/19/21- 8 years today I officially remain NED and in 12 days I will be having a lymphnode transfer to help decrease some mild lymphedema! Still working, living life and soon to see a day I thought never would happen and that’s becoming a grandparent June 22nd.
11/19/2023 - 10 years since diagnosis and I remain NED
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