[IrvineFriend]

This may sound really odd, because my cancer journey was not without issue. Prior to diagnosis, athletic, doing well in career, etc. and finally feel like I've crossed the finish line. Implants exchanged a few weeks ago, and only thing left is nipple reconstruction. I should be ecstatic. Instead I feel so much pressure everywhere, from work to make up for lost time, to boyfriend for not helping enough with home projects and to myself, for not training for that 1/2 marathon. I feel like I "owe" everyone for all the assistance, but I worked all through treatment although I did call in sick when I couldn't make it in. I know I will need a vacation but used up that time for treatments and surgeries. I don't want to discourage those in treatment, but I still feel "tired" which I don't get. Even in the worst of chemo hell, I always put my running shoes on and went out, even if I couldn't go more than 5 minutes. It was the act of trying. I don't even try right now. I'm worried I was getting so much attention before and now I'm just a normal person, still struggling with words and complex thoughts and just tired of it all. Maybe this is normal, but I feel like I should be ecstatic and I'm not. Would love to hear from anyone else that felt like this; feel free to PM if too personal.