HER2 Support Group Forums - View Single Post - ~This Sounds So Terrible Of Me, Please Forgive Me

Believe51 · 08-26-2009, 09:56 PM

This will be short because I do not want to get myself going since I have remained pretty focused and grounded lately.....

I wish that this man would either overcome this...........or that he is spared and taken quickly.

I cannot take much more of seeing him like this and I really think it is because he does not want to leave me. Never did make it to the OncoMan on Tuesday, rescheduled. I'm telling you that my feelings will not change even if his brain is miraculously clean. He cannot and should not be living like this.

There I said it and I only said it because you have known me for 2 1/2 years and my thousands of posts have proven the love I have for this man. I love him with everything I have and do not want to see him leave. Please God, let it be me now that is the only one hurting. Gotta go before tears fall.>>Believe51

PS: Although I have always been an independant woman, I am scared shitless to move on without him. (Oops, first bad word too but I'm going to leave it there...smiling)

08-26-2009, 09:56 PM	#1
Believe51 Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: RHODE ISLAND (Ed getting me a latte on 2nd Cancerversary Cruise 2008) 'BELIEVE': To accept as true or real, To have faith in, To presume ALWAYS BELIEVE Posts: 2,999	~This Sounds So Terrible Of Me, Please Forgive Me This will be short because I do not want to get myself going since I have remained pretty focused and grounded lately..... I wish that this man would either overcome this...........or that he is spared and taken quickly. I cannot take much more of seeing him like this and I really think it is because he does not want to leave me. Never did make it to the OncoMan on Tuesday, rescheduled. I'm telling you that my feelings will not change even if his brain is miraculously clean. He cannot and should not be living like this. There I said it and I only said it because you have known me for 2 1/2 years and my thousands of posts have proven the love I have for this man. I love him with everything I have and do not want to see him leave. Please God, let it be me now that is the only one hurting. Gotta go before tears fall.>>Believe51 PS: Although I have always been an independant woman, I am scared shitless to move on without him. (Oops, first bad word too but I'm going to leave it there...smiling) __________________ 9/7/06Husband 50yrs=StageIV IBC/HER2+,BoneMets10/06TaxotereX10,'H'1X wk,Zometa,Tamoxifen4/12/07Last Tax5/18/07Pet=Rapid Cell Activity,No Organ Mets,Lytic Lesions,Degeneration,Some Bone Repair5/07ChemoFail6/01/07Pleural Thoracentisis=Effusions,NoMalignantCells6/19/07+7/2/07DFCI 6/25/07BrainMRI=BrainMets,Many<9mm7/10/07WBR/PelvisRad37.5Gx15&Nutritionist8/19/07T/X9/20/07BrainMRI=2<2mm10/6/07Pet=BoneProgression 10/24/07ChemoFail11/9/07A/Cx10,EndTam12/7/07Faslodex12/10/07Muga7512/13/07BlasticLesions1/7/08BrainMRI=Clear4/1/08Pet=BoneImprovement, NoProgression,Stable4/7/08BrainPerfect5/16/08Last A/C8/26/08BrainMets=10(<9mm)9/10/08Gamma10/30/08Met=5mm12/19/08Gamma5mets5 12/22/08SpinalMets1/14/09SpinalRads2/17/09BrainMRI=NoNewMets4/20/09BoneScan5/14/09Ixempra6/1/09BrainMRI=NumerousMets6/24/09DFCIw/DrBurstein6/26/09Continue Ixempra/Faslodex/Zometa~TM now lower7/17/09Stop Ixempra By Choice9/21/09HOSPICE10/16/09Earned His Deserved Wings And Halo=37 Month Fight w/Stage 4 IBC, Her2+++,My Hero!!