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Anne,
I just want to add one more thing...don't be so hard on yourself. It is INCREDIBLY hard to love someone so much and feel so helpless. You're human, give yourself a break. You'll do the best you can and as long as you do, don't look back. You will have your tough times and your strong times, so recognize that you're not perfect, no one is. Based on what I read, your mother is very lucky to have a daughter that cares so much. What's more, you are STRONG enough to ask for help.
You, like most caregivers, are carrying a heavy burden so recognize that everybody needs help and someone to talk to. If you don't have a family member or friend that you feel you could open up to, then please know that there are many people on this site who will gladly be there fo you. You are not alone!
If you need someone to listen to you, let me know and I will gladly give you my home phone number.
Warmest regards,
Eric
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