[Joy]

I'm here and thank you for thinking about me. I have been in a physical and mental funk for awhile. I definitely feel fatigued from E/C and I don't like it at all. Last week I developed a really high fever and 2 odd pains, get this-one in my right inner thigh and the other in my left forearm. Certain movements were very painful and my mobility was hampered. It makes no sense. I started on Invanz (IV antibiotic) because of the fever and blood cultures were taken-all of which came back normal. So I don't know if I did 7 days of antibiotics for nothing or what. My normal temp is usually 97 ish so for it to reach 104 for 2 days seemed alarming. It is driving me crazy as to what all of it would be.

My last chem panel showed some good things and that was after 2 treatments. ALT/AST were about normal, alkphos was finally coming down into 300 range from 400plus. My CA27.29 also came down from 400plus to 300 range. I just hate to get to excited because that happened on the DM1 trial too and then things got worse in the liver.

So I have been in bed a lot, slow moving, slow thinking, feeling like a lousy mother/friend, whatever. And worrying a lot about how the E/C is working and what if my liver just can't take any more drugs and if my days are really numbered. I just feel very little hope and I don't exactly know why. I feel like I always look stupid and pale and old and, of course the no hair thing is making me feel more so.

I am just a big whiny pants I know and I am sorry. I am just in worry mode-which I know helps nothing. I also know that I love all of you so much and I know that you have felt these things before and that our struggles are unique and some are much harder than mine-which is why I hate to post when I feel like this. I think about all of you everyday and keep pratying for some miracles-even little breakthrough miracles would be great.