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Sherry, I am sooo with you!
I feel the same way! While my family and friends feel like every month that passes I am that much closer to remission, I unfortunately feel like it is getting closer to the countdown of my end! I was diagnosed with Bone Mets at diagnosis August 2005. My twins just turned 2 and my daugther almost 4. I HAVE to live at least another 15 years, which would be pretty miraculous for a Stage 4 person. I know I have read 1-2 years mets come back, and now I feel like at 15 months out I am smack dab in the middle of the Cancer Zone! AAGGHH!
Everyone keeps telling me how great I look now, how happy they are that I am done with cancer, etc. etc. I just smile and say yes, but it makes me feel so alone inside because I am just as emotionally tormented as I was when I was going through chemo. No one wants to hear all my misery and emotional pain and fears of cancer coming back and every ache and pain I freak out over!! I found a good therapist that has helped me to deal with it and is has helped.
It is nice to know that I am not alone.
Here is to us, living a very long and healthy lives, to see our grandchildren!
Natalie
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