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Mary Anne in TX · 09-20-2008, 08:18 AM

Dana, your story really touched me. After 2 1/2 years of being a "good soldier", I seem to have a "come apart" at the drop of a hat! I can't say it's all because I'm still doing herceptin and going to the clinic every 3 weeks. I think it's the losses that come along with cancer. It really hurts that those around us don't understand. My husband keeps reminding me that if they really allowed themselves to understand they'd have to deal with the feelings it brings up for them and most people just won't. People do want us to be brave, happy, healthy, trouble-free.
I think the greatest sadness for me is the loss of ability. I used to be able to work circles around others (no matter their age) and kick my brain in gear at a moment's notice to problem solve. Now, I have to plan brain time to get it to function at a good level...no stress, peace and quiet, feel good!
I think this time will pass just as other times do, but it's hard to be a "fruit cake" so much of the time.
I think you're terrific for working, going to a seminar, facing your feelings and dealing with the life you were dealt. Hope you'll take a minute to feel a big hug and way-to-go-girl from me!
Thank God for the folks at this site!
Much love and real feelings, ma

09-20-2008, 08:18 AM	#3
Mary Anne in TX Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: San Antonio, TX Posts: 2,357	Dana, your story really touched me. After 2 1/2 years of being a "good soldier", I seem to have a "come apart" at the drop of a hat! I can't say it's all because I'm still doing herceptin and going to the clinic every 3 weeks. I think it's the losses that come along with cancer. It really hurts that those around us don't understand. My husband keeps reminding me that if they really allowed themselves to understand they'd have to deal with the feelings it brings up for them and most people just won't. People do want us to be brave, happy, healthy, trouble-free. I think the greatest sadness for me is the loss of ability. I used to be able to work circles around others (no matter their age) and kick my brain in gear at a moment's notice to problem solve. Now, I have to plan brain time to get it to function at a good level...no stress, peace and quiet, feel good! I think this time will pass just as other times do, but it's hard to be a "fruit cake" so much of the time. I think you're terrific for working, going to a seminar, facing your feelings and dealing with the life you were dealt. Hope you'll take a minute to feel a big hug and way-to-go-girl from me! Thank God for the folks at this site! Much love and real feelings, ma __________________ MA in TX. Grateful for each and every day.... Diag. 12/05 at age 60 Stage II, Grade 3, 4.5 cm primary tumor ER/PR- Her2 +3 strongly positive Her2 by FISH 7.7 amplified vascular invasion Ki67 20% borderline Jan - March '06 Taxotere/Adriamycin X 3 to try to shrink tumor - it grew April '06 Rt Modified Radical Mas, 7 of 9 nodes positive April - Aug. '06 Herceptin/Taxol/Carboplatin X 8 (dose dense) Sept - Dec. '06 Navelbine/Herceptin x 8 (dose dense) Radiation & Herceptin Jan. 22 - March 1, 2007 Finished Herceptin Dec. 10 '08! One extra year. Port removed August, 2012. 8 1/2 years since diagnosis! 5 1/2 Years NED!