[Andrea Barnett Budin]

I had called my GYN b/c I had found something that was very concerning to me. I explained it all to his assistant. This was wks before. She said the doc could not see me till 2 wks later.

I called back and emphasized that it was kind of an emergency. There was nothing she could do about.

I called back again and said, Maybe I should have a mammogram so he will have more information to go on. That's a good idea she said. Geez.

When I saw the GYN, after the mammo and after the Saturday morning the breast surgeon opened his darkened office just for me, where he told me after examination and looking at the mammo xrays the radiologist had given me, in his personal office, he told me and my husband that it appeared that I had breast cancer. That was the first time that word cancer had been used.

He was going to do a surgical biopsy but that would not be for about 10 days as he was all booked up. He was very kind, caring, well-informed, professional and pretty wonderful. My husband asked, Well, how certain are you? He paused, leaned forward in his chair and said slowly, shrugging his shoulders -- 99 . 9 % certain.

So when I got to the GYN (who had seen me in Nov but hadn't checked my breasts cause I was having a peri menopausal issue with heavy bleeding and vastly irregular periods. Nothing for 3 mnths and then bleeding for 3 wks. Weird.) the GYN began to pace in the overly large exam room hearing my story. He was out of breath from all his pacing. How did this happen?! I just saw you. He was checking his notes on the large counter. The nurse was handing him pieces of paper.

When he left the room, as I was dressing, the nurse turned from the counter and papers and ran to me. She was a large woman. She threw her arms around me, kind of sobbing, and said -- I will say a prayer for you.

That's when you know for sure that you're in really big trouble.