[Mary Jo]

Hi Celeste...

Sounds like you just want all of our opinions but you have made up your mind and have decided what's right for you. It is good to hear how others feel about it, what they've actually decided and how they feel about their decision.

I, like you, would rather have been "even" (flat) instead of having one side flat and a breast on the other side. From the beginning I, too, wanted a bilateral but my surgeon talked me out of it. I had my right breast removed.....proceeded with chemo, radiation and herceptin and when all treatment was over and it was time for my left breast mammogram.......they discovered I had a suspicious looking area of calcification that had changed in appearance since my last mammogram. They truly believed it was malignant but I was told "not to worry" (ya right) because if it was cancer they had caught in early. WELL........................you all know how you'd feel about that.

After having a sterotactic biopsy and waiting FOR WHAT SEEMED LIKE FOREVER.......I found out the calcification was benign......THANK GOD! IMMEDIATELY after hearing the "benign" verdict from my surgeon I told her I wanted the breast removed........NO QUESTIONS ASKED! She didn't argue with me and said, if she were me she would do the same thing.

I had the breast removed and after it was removed I felt so relieved...in more ways than one. Being "even" felt great to me.....having the worry of that area of "suspicion" turn into cancer being gone.........and then hearing the breast had NO cancer it ....all was a relief to me. I never once regretted my decision. AND, I was sure I never wanted reconstruction as I felt totally at peace with who I was.

I did decide after 3 years to go ahead with bilateral DIEP reconstruction and although certainly not perfect....they are pretty darn cool. I always say this..."it's nice having my own "bumps" again to fill out my shirt. I am by no means large chested (never was and never wanted to me) a little smaller than a B cup but it feels good to be somewhat "normal" again.

So, all that being said, I'm happy you have reached a decision and feel good about that decision. I think most of us who made that decision feel good about it too. Hey, we're all different.......we all can handle different things at different levels......for me ..... a TOTAL type A personality.......it put me in charge....and I like that!!!

Praying all goes well for you......

Mary Jo