HER2 Support Group Forums - View Single Post

Cif · 12-21-2014, 03:08 PM

what aspect of guilt is brewing? income burdens, sex, damaged goods, an activity/sport/hobby given up, a list of things?

Our private comms have her and I with so many similar issues maybe I can help. I supported physically two households and now still trying to walk and keep balance and manage pain. Hubby and I earned nearly same and now I'm not working. I was physically and mentally ... hot, now I'm marked up and relearning to read, math, cook without burning house down ... so cognitively and physically challenged.

But I'm cooking things like Alton Browns Food network pork wellington, and many type 2 diabetes recepies tp benefit his health and is diet for BC (no dairy, low glycemic index, no pestcides - haa hard to find). In process I feel contributing to his improved mental and physical health, my learning to read and math, and learning to set timers/notes to adapt to to brain hit from chemo.

I'm contributing, he is getting healthier too. We experiment with flavors and share/learn likes/dislikes. Even spur reflections on childhood foods missed and try to recreate and associated stories and laugh at them. I have thick padded pieces of anything padded throughout (ewe yuck) kitchen, but greatly reduces pain and increases kitchen endurance. Regarding sex, working on those fixes per off comm with you (surgery to unshrink from chemo, dilators, YES, Replense).

I've physically benefited most from CLASSICAL STRETCH: THE ESMONDE Technique avail via public TV and internet. Key (for me) is to veg when in pain mode (thank you private poster for that priceless tip) and do this light yoga on good days. Esmonde is a BC survivor too and method used by all sports from hockey to snowboarders, football, Olympians).

Find out what is driving the guilt, then you can teamwork a possible solution. Don't rule out meds being mood driver. I'm in her shoes in many ways and willing to toss out unprofessional opinions/ideas to help.

here is the biggest help from hubby that has me improving (e.g., up to 15 min mile) ... on days I apologize for getting nothing done but a couple of bills, or phone calls to resolve my parents insurance battles he says " you are pushing too hard and likely how you got wore out and sick to begin with... I'm not worried, chill, everything can wait ... if you are not up to it tomorrow either have your Mom pick you up and do a movie or something. You've always expected too much from yourself, back off a bit" OMG, in a way he is saying, stop and smell the roses.

For me I pick three major things to do per week (sadly, what I used to do in an hour or day before). without a list on fridge I will lose time/focus, without setting a timer for things I'll lose time/focus. By getting lists done I contribute, then not feeling guilty.

12-21-2014, 03:08 PM	#5
Cif Member Join Date: Aug 2014 Posts: 15	Re: Need advise what aspect of guilt is brewing? income burdens, sex, damaged goods, an activity/sport/hobby given up, a list of things? Our private comms have her and I with so many similar issues maybe I can help. I supported physically two households and now still trying to walk and keep balance and manage pain. Hubby and I earned nearly same and now I'm not working. I was physically and mentally ... hot, now I'm marked up and relearning to read, math, cook without burning house down ... so cognitively and physically challenged. But I'm cooking things like Alton Browns Food network pork wellington, and many type 2 diabetes recepies tp benefit his health and is diet for BC (no dairy, low glycemic index, no pestcides - haa hard to find). In process I feel contributing to his improved mental and physical health, my learning to read and math, and learning to set timers/notes to adapt to to brain hit from chemo. I'm contributing, he is getting healthier too. We experiment with flavors and share/learn likes/dislikes. Even spur reflections on childhood foods missed and try to recreate and associated stories and laugh at them. I have thick padded pieces of anything padded throughout (ewe yuck) kitchen, but greatly reduces pain and increases kitchen endurance. Regarding sex, working on those fixes per off comm with you (surgery to unshrink from chemo, dilators, YES, Replense). I've physically benefited most from CLASSICAL STRETCH: THE ESMONDE Technique avail via public TV and internet. Key (for me) is to veg when in pain mode (thank you private poster for that priceless tip) and do this light yoga on good days. Esmonde is a BC survivor too and method used by all sports from hockey to snowboarders, football, Olympians). Find out what is driving the guilt, then you can teamwork a possible solution. Don't rule out meds being mood driver. I'm in her shoes in many ways and willing to toss out unprofessional opinions/ideas to help. here is the biggest help from hubby that has me improving (e.g., up to 15 min mile) ... on days I apologize for getting nothing done but a couple of bills, or phone calls to resolve my parents insurance battles he says " you are pushing too hard and likely how you got wore out and sick to begin with... I'm not worried, chill, everything can wait ... if you are not up to it tomorrow either have your Mom pick you up and do a movie or something. You've always expected too much from yourself, back off a bit" OMG, in a way he is saying, stop and smell the roses. For me I pick three major things to do per week (sadly, what I used to do in an hour or day before). without a list on fridge I will lose time/focus, without setting a timer for things I'll lose time/focus. By getting lists done I contribute, then not feeling guilty.