Dear Adrien and V-ness, the baby is my nephew. I should crop the picture so that he isn't in it. I just like this picture because, well, I was happy there and it was one week out from my first chemo, still had my hair, still looked like me, even felt like me.
I feel bad - making you think I have a child when I don't. No, I live alone and I am no hero.
Expanders are something they use to allow for reconstruction. These are placed under the pectoral muscle and expanded with saline over time to stretch the muscle to allow for an implant to be put in at a later point. I was assured this was the standard way of proceeding - mastectomy (I had option of just the right side or bi-lateral, I went for bi-lateral) with expanders placed at the same time. So, I ended up with an expander on each side.
I feel like there is an over focus on my looking normal, rather than just my healing and having the best chance of surviving. I was told that I would get through this, that it would be a rough year, year and a half, but, that I would get past it and look back on it as something that is past. I can not even imagine that now. It was nice to hear in the early days, but, a bit hard to believe in now.
Thank you for the advice on taking anti-depressants or ativan. I do have ativan, so maybe I will take that today.
I was pretty sick last night - let myself get dehydrated - maybe it was all the crying I did yesterday
My blood pressure got really low and I was upside down fast. Had the paramedics out, if you can believe that. But, I had no way to drive anywhere and it was one in the morning, so that was my only option I felt. I was pretty scared as I had pretty low blood pressure the day before and yet forget to drink much in the way of fluids Fri or Sat. - really stupid. But, everything worked out and hopefully everything else will too.
Thank you for the book recommendations Vy-ness, I really appreciate it - and since I do not have a little one - I should have time to read it.
Does anyone know of any financial resources available to cancer patients. I think that is a big part of my problem - worrying about my financial situation - keeping a roof over my head and insurance.
Thank you all so much!
Love and peace,
Lisa