[Andrea Barnett Budin]

I, just as all of us, am deeply shocked and saddened by the loss of Amanda to this world. Yet another Sister gone far too soon, far too quickly.

I know she was a BELIEVER, from her posts and our e's. She was trying to figure out what she was doing wrong, as she was doing everything right, including various forms of integrative therapies, meditation and knowing what must be done psychologically and metaphysically.

I struggled to help. I believed in her, as a woman of great knowledge and enormous kindness and caring, I truly felt we could navigate through her end stage to miraculous survival. She kept asking, What am I doing wrong?

So many have asked that, and I've truly pondered what I could offer. My recent discovery of Neville's books and his way of explaining what I've tried to convey for well over a decade, has shed new light on what I have KNOWN. So I am of course sharing this with you all.

I have often expressed the importance of our consciousness. Neville speaks of THE SUBCONSCIOUS as it is that which expresses all that is impressed on it. The Subconscious accepts as true ideas that the Conscious mind judges and predicts based on knowledge and reason.

We can control our Subconscious by feeding it our dreams and visions -- despite what our senses tell us is the reality of a situation. We can control our thoughts and it is our thoughts that preclude our emotions!

The Subconscious transcends reason. It sees a feelings as a fact existing and proceeds to give expression to it. IT'S ALL ABOUT OUR FEELINGS. And they emanate from our thoughts, which are or CAN be within our power to alter.

It's natural to feel frightened by the awful physical symptoms we each experience from our cancer, from the chemo. It is understandable that we see so many, far too many, others metastasizing and becoming overcome with their physical weakness and their sense of doom and failure -- and we therefore identify with those feelings which in turn make us shake in our boots.

I admire you all for the immense courage and determination, even humor midst crises, you possess. I marvel at your strength and wit and willingness to endure and learn and seek! But of course, the thoughts that come along with all those realities are counterproductive, and downright detrimental to our health!

So somehow we must put aside our grief and our overwhelming fear of all that we are undergoing physically. Our mourning is yet another obstacle to our wellness. We must persevere despite it. Not repress our feelings, surely we must experience them and allow them to vent. That's part of what this site is for. Because who but others just like us can begin to conceive of what it is like to be us??!!

By controlling our thoughts I do not mean that you must restrain or suppress your sorrow and fear but rather to become emboldened to discipline yourself to image and stubbornly entertain only such feelings as contribute to our happiness, despite it all! It is truly what each of us would wish for the other were we the one who succumbed.

We mustn't dwell on the imperfection of ourselves or our situation! To do so is to impress the Subconscious with LIMITATIONS.

Every feeling makes a subconscious impression. And will come to be expressed.

I am healthy is a stronger feeling than I will be healthy.

To feel I will be is to confess I am not.

I am is stronger than I am not.

What you feel you are always dominates what you feel you would like to be. The wish must be felt as a state that is -- rather than a state that is not. This is why HOPE is too weak an energy. Claiming certainty is no easy feat, I totally get that, yet, it is doable.

SENSATION PRECEDES MANIFESTATION. So be careful of your moods and feelings. There's an unbroken connection between your feelings and your visible world.

Your body is an emotional filter and bears the unmistakable marks of your prevalent emotions. Emotional disturbances, especially suppressed emotions, are the causes of all disease!

So we must VOICE our feelings, as we do here, venting, sharing, expressing our feelings and disappointments. But we must surge through our sense of regret and failure! And focus instead on the victory we foresee for ourselves and the feelings that would coincide with such a reality. THAT is where all your concentration must go. Because THAT, those thoughts (in vivid detail) and the emotions of such a truth will in fact create your dream! With the power of your Subconscious which will transform your feelings of your truth into manifestation!

A change of feelings is a change of destiny. The Subconscious doesn't care about the truth or falsity of your feelings. It always accepts as true that which you feel to be true!

That which is declared to be true is always possible. The subconscious makes the impossible -- impossible.

What your mind can conceive and feel as true, the Subconscious can and must objectify. It is a Universal Law!

If you're feeling down, change the pattern of your feelings. Consciously think what it is you wish and FEEL exactly how you will feel were it to be come true. KNOW that you are in fact drawing what you want to you. IT ALREADY EXISTS. All you must do is call it to you with your FEELINGS.

LOVE AND LIGHT,
Andi