[CarolineC]

Hi,

For one thing, you are trying to deal with the physical side effects of having Herceptin and Tamoxifen and I want to reassure you that I went through the same emotions as you. The week I would have my Herceptin for early stage treatment and I was on Tamoxifen I would notice more, let's say, emotion. Now, during my ongoing treatment, I am on Letrozole and I still notice more susceptibility to being emotional and my immune system (ie allergies) will be more sensitive as well the week of my Herceptin treatment.

Your hormones are being hit as the Tamoxifen lowers your estrogen levels. That is a physical effect as well as an emotional one.

I see in this last week that the only thing you did for you was visit a friend. Seeing your dad in the hospital after what he has gone through is stressful. You love him and you hurt for him. Work is stressful, cleaning the house might clear your mind, but it's still work. Then you hear about your ex's supposed great life. You will have a great life as well, and you are doing everything you should to ensure that happens-look how far you've come!

Everyday I am so envious of the people who live in the land of the living carefree, including the ones who have had their cancer treatment and are looking at everything in the rearview mirror and I think, after four years of dealing with this illness, some people's support has expired. They're tired. I'M tired.

I am part of an in-person support group that helps me and I am proud to be a part of this one-you guys get it.

I hope each day gets brighter for you and that you focus on doing WAY more positive to balance out the negative. You are not alone.