[linn65]

I have a couple issues and the first one I was working on stay calm it will go away....about a month ago a bump appeared about an inch below my clavicle bome and slightly to the left of my sternum. Well, having diep flap August 28th I thought maybe I did a little too much and this is inflammation, so I did nothing.

7 days ago today my right ankle and the top of my foot started hurting. It swelled on the top just a tadbit, but I can't see anything visually. Each day got worse, and I started walking with a limp because it hurts. Randomly, out of. No where a quick, sharp pain will go thru my foot, and I feel like a person with Tourette's and I grimace for a brief second (embarrassing, but only happened last night a few times while visiting with my Dad in hospital).

Those are my two dilemmas.....my sisters and niece said you need to get that bump checked. The bump feels like a hard knot any I would say the size of a quarter. The final decision in calling my ONC was I couldn't forget about the pain in my ankle, so I figured the right doctor to call was my ONC.

Nurse Ratchet the ONC's nurse...and I haven't cared for her from the very beginning because she just isn't really nice but in the grand scheme of things this year she wasn't that important to me, so I chose to to tolerate/ignore her.

I wanted to talk to my ONC doctor but never got a call back. Nurse ratchet called for him and I told her the above and she said I will call doctor and call you back.

She called back and two tests next Wednesday: on my ankle they want to do electrocardogram (sp) I said and why is that of course.....she said to check your arteries in your ankle because of edema. I told her it wasn't Edema because I had that the left two weeks when I was pregnant and it didn't hurt just fluid. She said oh I had edema and i could barely walk. I said idk what to think maybe its neuropathy from herceptin she said oh no that is out if your system. My last herceptin's was on August 20th, and I just keep thinking what the heck is it. Then she said it could he tendinitis, and I said really ? In my head I was thinking I have only know athletes to get that from repetitive motion over a long period of time. So, I Am. Thinking this test is worthless.

Next , text is a super sonic ultrasound on my lump. I asked no questions about that and she scheduled them.

Next day, my sister said why don't you ask her to do a petscan. I thought about it over night, and I thought that is one test and assumed (big mistake)it would cover me head to toe, peace of mind, I would never ask for another test about cancer unless I was lying on the floor convulsing. But I am sure nurse ratchet would say its epilepsy....I called her explained all my rationale for it and she said NO. Then proceeded too tell me insurance won't pay for it with no symptoms. I was trying to be really nice and convincing her to find away to do the petscan. After,20 minutes on the phone I gave up and I said okay for the two other tests.

Now, today I thought maybe that lump is smaller and it's inflammation, so I should wait. Then I thought is my ankle better....maybe it is. I got up took a shower and was hobbling after I got out. But I just feel this test won't give me an answer...however, back to I can't ignore the pain oh and nurse R did say I am sure it isn't bone cancer because it rarely comes there... I jokingly said well it seems I have been rare this year.

I want to switch ONC's now because the few times I have dealt with her she doesn't hear me, does not seem to care, and I just think she doesn't like me. I don't want to feel vulnerable with her and I have no power over my own self. But I can't switch now because I think I need immediate attention.

Randomly too I went to get my port flushed and drove 40 minutes, and because the chemo nurse punched out already it would now be overtime and they don't allow it. I understood, and I said is it okay if I just have it done in January when I see ONC and she said that's fine. Then said some people wAit a year...I was going to tell her about the bump/ankle thing, but I left. And all I could think was if I could have waited until January why did I have to come today. I have no idea what standard or care is for my port.

So all this week I went back to work on Monday and everything seems to be a mess and working on getting it done. But at times hard to concentrate. My Dad had a stroke after just going thro open heart 4 months ago and he has been in hospital since last Saturday. However, he is sound really good. And then all this trying to get a petscan but nope.

I sit and stare today but haven't done anything. But take a shower and wonder should I do these tests....I don't want to make one more decision.....

Whew....