[astrid]

Sex is a head game. Like others have said, if you feel sexy you are sexy. Try to get your head right and believe me your husband will be there with you. Think about what makes you feel sexy. Is it visual, it is romance, is it dominance or submission? If it’s visual, find a sexy movie and watch it together in lingerie. If its romance, start a bath with candles (can you take a bath yet?) and invite your husband to join you. If its dominance, seduce your husband. Of course if its submission, tell him what you want him to do. When I first got married I was 92 pounds and my husband thought I was sexy. We have been together for 25 years now and our sex has always been great. We are inventive still. We have had great sex since I was diagnosed. I think the cancer diagnosis has made us closer. We have reevaluated how much we really love each other. I know you love your husband or you would not be worried about how sexy you are. Focus on that and the rest will come. If you need a break right now, that is understandable also. This is a time we can be selfish. No one really knows what we are going through. We are all individual with our own fears. My husband was scared of hurting me at first after surgery. The doctor told him not to shake me, so our first attempts at sex were a disaster. Be patient, if you had good sex before cancer, you will have good sex again.