[chrisy]

OK guys, now I'm having a 'quote impairment' insecurity. How have you all been doing the quote thing?

dlaxague said: I think what all our discussions about anxiety and fear are really about is accepting uncertainty. But everyone's life is uncertain. No one's life (even the sweetest, healthiest newborn's) is certain. We've just experienced a higher-level alert than most, in this regard.

PinkGirl, this is a great discussion - thanks for starting this thread. I love this place. I wish I had wisdom to add.

True, breast cancer is not a good thing to get and many women do die from it. But not everyone, especially as more is learned about this disease, early diagnosis, prevention and intervention.

Statistically, many (most) women do not recur, and those diagnosed at earlier stage have more favorable odds than those diagnosed at a later stage. True, these are all just statistics and WE are all individuals. For each individual either you WILL or WON'T get cancer.

I include myself in the "optimists" side because even though I am everyones worst nightmare, I still try to stay optimistic even for myself.

But what I think we're seeing most on this thread is statistically backed optimism! It's not optimism that most women do not recur and die from breast cancer - it's reality. Choosing to believe that you as an individual will be on the "right" side of the statistics is optimism, but that doesn't mean it's not valid.

I think once we've received a diagnosis of breast cancer, the threat becomes real, we suddenly become the "someone else" who gets cancer. And we will or will not recur and will or will not die from cancer. Where we could comfortably ignore the C word before, we now have to face it, and our fears about it.

Most people get to blissfully ignore their mortality, we "get" to face it head on.

Remember, as wonderful a place as our HER2support forum is, it is not a representative sample of breast cancer survivors. We are mostly people who are actively in the fight...either as newly diagnosed or "lifers" who are living in stage 4 of 50. So most everyone here is getting scans, treatment, etc. all the time! It's a pretty intense environment. But we are not statistically representative of the world of people who get breast cancer - even Her2 bc.

I really value the survivors who stay around to continue offering their wonderful support. But most people eventually put their cancer experience behind them, including the need for support groups such as ours.

PinkGirl, I hope you'll stay forever because you bring so much honesty and humor to this forum. Also because you clearly still have much to learn about the world and we can help you. But you will not always be in treatment, having tests, facing your fears with as much intensity. You will (statistically speaking!) be one of the millions of bc survivors who get to look at their cancer experience only in the rearview mirror.

oops....is there another ramble alert needed?