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Dear Kimberly,
I just attended a weekend all about hope and faith. Without going on and on, God is love. Hope is holding onto the promise despite problems. I also heard that a jarring experience (i.e. cancer, divorce, loss of job), can call into question everything including your notions of God, which can lead to rethinking, and a new understanding. It can be a good thing to question.
I also have been a believer from early on. Despite my cancer diagnosis in 2004, dealing with parents' deaths, ups and downs of marriage, concerns for children, and many other difficult situations, I've tried to hang on to the one constant - knowing God was there for me when all else failed. Sometimes I didn't show up or ignored the message, and that usually lead to chaos within and being overwhelmed. Particulary with BC diagnosis, I realized I HAD to turn it over to God or I would not be able to function. I would tell God how worried I was and all my "what ifs" and then say "I'm turning the outcome over to you, Lord." I thank God for putting compassionate people in my life, family, friends, and sometimes even strangers. Knowing God is my anchor and safety net has helped me. I'm never going this alone.
One time I told my friend I felt like I was drowning and I couldn't keep treading water. She said, "roll over on your back, and rest in God's loving arms--He will keep you afloat."
Praying for God's peace for you - G.Ann
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