[Jackie07]

Thank you, Bill. And Gemma, my heart goes out to you.

I just got off the phone (international) with my 2nd Sister. We talked for over an hour because she couldn't reconcile the way my parents treat each other.

My father is 93 going 94, my mother is 8 years his junior. They've been married over 60 years. And my Mother started a 'cold war' three years ago when my Father brought up the idea about getting a divorce. She couldn't forgive him even though he had tried to appologize several times. Now his health has improved, he's going back to his old self. It is hard for my siblings to understand and to 'stand' it when they were over there (at least one of them each day even though there's a living-in housekeeper.)

It hurts my 2nd sister and 2nd brother to no end. (And my oldest brother and 3rd brother, but they are still working and don't go over there as much.) Of the six children my parents have, the middle two have the most trouble growing up and they seem to stay in a teenagers mindset and could not understand or accept human nature. They both spend a lot of time visiting my parents. But they both got upset after upsetting my parents.

Caregivers are angels. The best model I've seen so far is my Sister-in-law. I think it is because she is a professional ( a nutrition professor and self-employed nursing home consultant) and she takes care of things in a professional manner. It helped that she's clear-headed when everyone elses seem to be losing theirs.

She went to the nursing home and took care all the business when my Mother-in-law passed away. She got instruction from my Father-in-law and always stayed there longer than she had planned. She wrote all the thank-you notes and made goodies for people who took care of my In-laws. She always expresses her appreciation toward me because I have helped by cleaning up the house and take care of the laundry and dishes while she did the cooking. And I have never complained about my husband's spending time over my In-law's place.

Jack has not been working the last 5 years. He is under tremendous pressure (by himself and our financial reality now that I can't work) to get a job soon - but tomorrow he needs to go take my Father-in-law (2 hour round trip) to doctor's appointment.

Yes, caregivers are angels. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."