[Andrea Barnett Budin]

A Mitzvah is a truly virtuous, kind, considerate, ethical deed. Sharing is so beautiful. I am so happy to hear good news. But, I must wonder out loud, if I may. I cannot tolerate waiting for results. My husband is even worse when it comes to me. I INSIST ON GETTING SAME DAY RESULTS. I schedule all tests -- 1st appt, to facilitate this. I call the docs office as soon as I return home to remind them my husband and I are waiting by the phone w/bated breath. I have befriended the docs' Assistant. She understands this is the only time I am out of my mind. If I don't hear by 4PM, I call again, because I know the Imaging Center closes at the stroke of 5PM and you cannot contact them until the next day. If my husband goes out to run errands he hangs by his cell. He calls me, Did they call yet? No, I always say. I promise I will call you the minute they call me. When they call and tell me I am STABLE, I just blurt out. THANK YOU. I LOVE YOU... Then my finger clicks off and I start dialing Paul. He answers on the first ring, anxiously, I tell him STABLE right off. No time for fun and games. He starts to cry w/relief. Thank God. Good. Call the kids. When he comes home he emails every one he knows and loves. I get copies of every single test ever taken and every report written. If no report is issued, I request one. I compare, w/a layman's eye for details.

IT WAS ME WHO PICKED UP MY METAST INTO THE LIVER, USING THIS METHOD. The doc told me on the phone, just after my every 3 mnth comprehensive bld workup that my liver enzymes were "slightly elevated, but very slightly". What does that mean? "I wouldn't worry about it." 3 mnths ltr exact same conversation. I was starting to worry. #s should be consistent, or they indicate an issue. 3 mnths later when I had the absolutely same conversation, I asked for a "liver sonogram". I don't even know where that came from! Well, I guess I could substantiate that. I'll write a scrip... The rest is history. The radiol at the sono apologized but had to send me for a CT because he couldn't be certain what he was looking at. The CT saw multiple tumors in the liver. Then I returned for a liver biop and was virtually pronounced a dead woman walking. 4th stage invasive lobular carcinoma + 2 nodes ( Age 50 -- '95 mastec, tram flap reconst Adria + CMF). Now HER2+ 80% as they put it in '98. WHAT YOU HAVE IS INOPERABLE, INCURABLE AND YOU WILL BE ON LONG TERM CHEMOTHERAPY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. I was devastated. But I got it together. Oversaw every step of my care. Did Taxotere for 9 mnths, till I dropped. Started Herceptin in Nov. '98 and have been on ever since. And I'm proud and grateful with every single day.

My point -- don't wait. Get answers as soon as is humanly possible. Don't go on a Fri. I did that once and due to mixups had to wait the entire wknd. Paul and I were besides ourselves. Be good to yourself. Get copies of everything. Micromanage the hell out of your story. No one cares more about you than you. Sending you LOVE and CONGRATULATIONS and THANKS for sharing your good news! ANDI