HER2 Support Group Forums - View Single Post - How do you feel about a Memorial/Tribute Forum?

NEDenise · 10-06-2012, 06:13 AM

Hi all,
I find myself on the fence here. While I love the idea of remembering the friends we love...

I share the concern that a forum devoted entirely to all those who have lost their valiant fight, might scare people away from our community - and it would not necessarily be restricted to newcomers.
In effect, that would rob them of all the support they would normally find here, and in many cases need desperately. (I know I do!)

This is a quote that Lori R posted on the other thread about a memorial...

"If I recall, Joe was concerned that if the
memorial included treatment history there
would be a chance that a new comer would
review and try to relate to a personal
prognosis. (I could see myself doing that)"

I couldn't have expressed my own thoughts better myself. I would totally have done that as a newbie. Honestly, I might be tempted even now. And as we all know, that is NEVER a good idea. Every breast cancer is unique, just like every survivor is.

Is there a way around this sticking point?

Could their treatment histories be removed, so just the loving tributes and memorable posts remain?
Or, would that removal be objectionable to those of us in favor of the memorial forum?

Again, I find myself in the position of seeing the valid points presented on both sides of the discussion. If nothing else, this is an excellent way for each of us to focus on, and give our thoughts about this whole issue. Thanks Becky!

Denise

10-06-2012, 06:13 AM	#10
NEDenise Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Philly Suburbs Posts: 1,709	Re: How do you feel about a Memorial/Tribute Forum? Hi all, I find myself on the fence here. While I love the idea of remembering the friends we love... I share the concern that a forum devoted entirely to all those who have lost their valiant fight, might scare people away from our community - and it would not necessarily be restricted to newcomers. In effect, that would rob them of all the support they would normally find here, and in many cases need desperately. (I know I do!) This is a quote that Lori R posted on the other thread about a memorial... "If I recall, Joe was concerned that if the memorial included treatment history there would be a chance that a new comer would review and try to relate to a personal prognosis. (I could see myself doing that)" I couldn't have expressed my own thoughts better myself. I would totally have done that as a newbie. Honestly, I might be tempted even now. And as we all know, that is NEVER a good idea. Every breast cancer is unique, just like every survivor is. Is there a way around this sticking point? Could their treatment histories be removed, so just the loving tributes and memorable posts remain? Or, would that removal be objectionable to those of us in favor of the memorial forum? Again, I find myself in the position of seeing the valid points presented on both sides of the discussion. If nothing else, this is an excellent way for each of us to focus on, and give our thoughts about this whole issue. Thanks Becky! Denise __________________ 1/11-needle biopsy 2/11-Lumpectomy/axillary node dissection - Stage 3c, ER/PR-14/17 nodes 3/11 - Post-op staph infection,cellulitis, lymphedema,seroma,ARRRGH! 4/12/11-A/C x 4, then T/H x 4, H only,Q3 weeks 8/26/11 finished Taxol!!! 10/7/11 mastectomy/DIEP recon 11/11 radiation x28 1/12/12 1st CANCER-VERSARY! 1/12 Low EF/Herceptin "Holiday" :( 2/12 EF up - Back on Herceptin, heart meds 4/2/1212 surgery to repair separated incision from DIEP recon 6/8/12 Return to work :) 6/17/12 Fall, shatter wrist,surgery to repair/insert plate :( 7/10/12 last Herceptin 7/23/12 Brain Mets %$&#! 3cm and 1cm 8/10/12 Gamma knife surgery, LOTS of steroids;start H/Tykerb 8/23/12 Back to work 12/20/12 Injure back-3 weeks in wheel chair 1/12/13 2nd CANCER-VERSARY! 1/14/13 herniate disk in back - surgery to repair 1/27/13 Radiation necrosis - edema in brain - back on steroids - but not back to work - off balance, poor cordination in right arm 5/3/13 Start Avastin to shrink necrosis 5/10/13 begin weaning steroids 6/18/13 Brain MRI - Avastin seems to be working! 6/20/13 quarterly CT - chest, abdomen, pelvis - All Clear! 7/5/13 finally off steroids!! 7/7/13 joined the ranks of the CHEMO NINJAS I am now Tekuto Ki Ariku cancer assassin! 7/13/13 Symptoms return - back on steroids 7/26/13 Back on Avastin - try again! 8/26/13 Not ready to return to classroom yet :( But I CAN walk without holding onto things! :) 9/9/13 Brain MRI - fingers crossed “ Life is a grindstone, and whether it grinds you down or polishes you up is for you, and you alone, to decide. ” – Cavett Robert