[Believe51]

You guys are simply the light in my life and add to the quality of my world, I am too without words. I was touched when I logged on and felt hope even though this looks terrible for him.

We went for a long ride to his Mom's old home to check the mail. Passing over the reservior tonight the sun went down behind giant patches of fog. I envisioned this as my mind and the voices that were screaming in it....cloudy but still able to see some sunshine through the haze.......the water was freakishly calm. Looking out at this calm water which I have passed hundreds of times made me think that this is how I need my mind to be. I am breathing and still numb but need you to know how I appreciate the way you can make me see.

When finished we went to grab dinner, well he had Apple Pie w/extra vanilla ice cream, I had dinner (lol). He had to get some air so I stayed and followed his instructions to buy desserts for my Mom and Dad. Of course they got a visit and a dessert delivery, delivered by Sir Mighty Oak himself. Yes my Lovey's, this man is unreal. On the way home he asked me to call MD Anderson Monday (I will try online to contact tonight). He told me as he smiled and looked deep into my eyes, "I will have no one 'write me off'". Ed knows that OncoMan has not given up and there is much work to do, but he is gearing up with only prayers and hope in his pockets. Now that's my boy.

He did let me know that now is the time I cannot push him. I will provide him with all his options, long shots and travel plans and await their approval. It is fruitless to ask you not to be so sad because I cry with your sagas also. I am asking for you all to just be the pure and loving friends you are and know I can only do this with your help. Prayers and positive thoughts, wish us one last miracle. Thank you so much for allowing me to be sad here and for the sadness I have passed to you.>>Marie

PS: I Love You Santa Claus aka Lani, you are a gift in your own right. The hope and ammo you always supply in our war time allows us to be better Warriors. You have inspired me once more.