Thread: Survivors
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Old 03-23-2013, 09:19 AM   #19
Andrea Barnett Budin
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: LAND OF YES! w/home in Boca Raton, Florida Orig from L.I., N.Y. Ever hovering IN THE NOW...
Posts: 1,904
Survivors CAN'T REMAIN MUTE

Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past. You must fight just to keep them alive. It's "the eye of the tiger"...rising up to the challenge...The last known survivor stalks his prey in the night.

In the dark night of your fight you must never give up, my Sister. You have the skill to survive. Hold tight your will to survive. You are a Survivor. You've been through so much. I understand you feeling as you do. Still I applaud you. And urge you to not give up on Surviving. It can get better. I believe that. If you will begin to reach out and believe that!

Have you ever considered seeking alternatives to add or integrate with conventional medicine? The key is in the secret recipe which goes beyond the doctors' standard of care. I wouldn't be here without it all!

Supplements. Meditation. Trolling your thoughts for signs of negativity. I can see yours from here, Cool one. YOUR BODY LISTENS TO EVERYTHING YOU THINK, SAY OR WHISPER. IT'S JOB IS TO FOLLOW YOUR DIRECTIONS. IT HAS NO SENSE OF HUMOR. IT IS LITERAL. IF YOU SAY, I KNOW I AM GOING TO DIE, YOUR BODY WILL FULLFILL YOUR COMMAND.

At the first sign of I'M JUST AFRAID THAT..., I JUST "KNOW" THAT... (or even declaring that I AM LIVING WITH CANCER) -- those are explicit invitations to cancer to stay with you. Those ideas are heavy with defeat!

I may sound like a nut job to you, and that's fine if you think that, but I can't stop myself from trying to awaken you to what it is you are participating in (I believe completely unwittingly). So I wanted to alert you! Red flags are all over the place here.

I feel compelled to point out to you that toxic thoughts and the images they evoke are full of energy. You may believe you are simply being a realist. I see a realist drenched in negativity. Thoughts can create realities you may not truly desire. Or --they have the potential to assist you and your miraculous body to heal. It isn't easy. Gosh, I KNOW this well. But once you form the habit of recognizing negativity lurking in you, you have the power to consciously choose to immediately reject it -- and then the responsibility to replace it with chosen outcomes.

I've learned we must state what we want clearly and vividly. We must make our Intention and our Expectation completely clear. Because the energy of our thoughts and visions goes directly to our body as a distinct MESSAGE. And -- the vibrational quality of our thoughts and visions is sensed and also responded to by the Universe itself -- IN KIND. Negativity begets more of the same. Positivity calls positivity directly to you. What you give away returns to you. Love included.

You can participate in your own wellness. You must. Without you, all the surgery and chemotherapies in the world, all the brilliant docs and top nurses can't make you well.

I see you as a Survivor. I identify myself as a Survivor. Like any survivor of any great and mighty challenge, I can talk to a soldier or a Holocaust Survivor and we all but immediately find a bond.

In 1995, I'd gone for a mammo because there was this weirdness about my left breast (not a lump, never had a lump, not a pea or a marble). I felt the urgent need to move my mammo up. I felt a hardness the size of the palm of my hand and I could move it.

Instead of calling me in for additional pictures, as they sometimes did cause I had dense breasts, they said the Radiologist wanted me to have a sonogram. Right then. She came into the sono room obviously agitated. I didn't take it personally. She gooped the thing and ran it around and around, looking at the screen. Over and over and over. Very distressed. Still, I didn't get it. Thought she'd been having a bad day.

Get dressed and see me in my office. And she left. I dressed and followed. In her office her chest was heaving. She locked eyes with mine and told me I needed a breast surgeon. I had hypothesized that it was probably a cyst and might need surgery. I offered that. Her eyes still locked in mine, hands clasped or more aptly clenched together on her desk, she said, No! What you have is -- a pause -- a solid mass. Hervoice quivered. That was 5 o'clock on the Friday of Fourth of July weekend. She called a breast surgeon she highly recommended. The office was closed till Tuesday. She had a thought, I have his home phone number, Do you want me to call him for you? I nodded, unable to speak. I heard her explain my 9 cm tumor and details. Did she say tumor? Couldn't that be benign, I thought. Stunned.

The breast surgeon opened his darkened empty office on Saturday morning at 10 o'clock. After some discussion with me and my husband I heard my DH ask, How certain are you? Good question I thought. The doc thought it was breast cancer! He paused, shook his head side to side, calculating, leaned forward and said slowly, 99.9% certain.

Surgical biopsy confirmed that it was 100% malignant breast cancer, lobular. Mastectomy showed 2 out of 21 nodes involved. I had my mastectomy on July 14.

So I go by July 14 as the day I began my trek from 4th stage breast cancer to survival. I note it on my calendar each year and I celebrate that I am still here. I've been doing that all along, through my metastasis and the discovery of my HER2+ gene which wasn't even tested for in '95.

I did that when I had less than a 15% chance of surviving.

Deep down I know it started the Friday of the 4th of July weekend.

You are living with bc, Cool Lady but you are surviving with each day. And, with the help of your thinking, plus hopefully some serious meditation, the nurturing effect mantras have on your psyche and perhaps the addition of supplements you can take religiously as I do since '98 -- to get your immune system to kick into gear, to fight off, neutralize and down-regulate free radicals, to detoxify your liver, prevent cancer proliferation, rid your body of toxins, strengthen your heart and your bones -- you will come to see yourself and be a Survivor.

You are already a Warrior, a Shero with a strong will. You're a vital spark, a life force. Get in touch with the Spirit at your core, Breezy, and I pray you will find miraculous results. YOU ARE THE CAPTAIN OF YOUR SOUL. THE MASTER OF YOUR FATE. Take charge. Please.

With much love,

Andi
P.S. I HATE PINK TOO...
__________________
Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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