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Andrea Barnett Budin · 02-07-2014, 10:23 AM

Right on, Delta! I do not feel anxious, as you say, per se. I just have a
hyperactive brainstorm going on in my head at every waking moment.

I have learned even if it is a matter of thinking what I will wear tomorrow or how I could give new life to a room in the house -- DO NOT GO THERE. Stirring creative juices is verbotin!

So, I like to think I talk calmatives, to slowdown the battering ideas banging around in my head.

I meditate every day. Have since '95. But at night, I cannot get that going. Stray thoughts keep popping up. By day, I can zone out and go to my favorite fantasy spot (once actually visited and found to be totally awesome). I recall the sights, sounds, feelings that I experienced (over 50 years ago!) and come back feeling refreshed, joyful and serene.

Just can't seem to master that at night. So, I admit it, I need help. Or I wouldn't have slept a single night since 1998...

02-07-2014, 10:23 AM	#14
Andrea Barnett Budin Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: LAND OF YES! w/home in Boca Raton, Florida Orig from L.I., N.Y. Ever hovering IN THE NOW... Posts: 1,904	Re: Sleep and cancer Right on, Delta! I do not feel anxious, as you say, per se. I just have a hyperactive brainstorm going on in my head at every waking moment. I have learned even if it is a matter of thinking what I will wear tomorrow or how I could give new life to a room in the house -- DO NOT GO THERE. Stirring creative juices is verbotin! So, I like to think I talk calmatives, to slowdown the battering ideas banging around in my head. I meditate every day. Have since '95. But at night, I cannot get that going. Stray thoughts keep popping up. By day, I can zone out and go to my favorite fantasy spot (once actually visited and found to be totally awesome). I recall the sights, sounds, feelings that I experienced (over 50 years ago!) and come back feeling refreshed, joyful and serene. Just can't seem to master that at night. So, I admit it, I need help. Or I wouldn't have slept a single night since 1998... __________________ Andi BB '95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive... '98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!) + good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either... Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...