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Re: Dating after cancer: What is 2nd base?
JML: You know, I was talking to my therapist today about the evening. It was a pretty transformational night for me because it started with me still identifying myself as a cancer patient and ended with me feeling like a girl...who really liked a boy. The change happened when he turned to me and said "wanna make out?". I was faced with two directions, I could of stopped everything right there and gone into my "you know, I'm different...I've been through cancer....I am still working through things..," speech or "f$%& it...let's make out". I chose to just go with the making out option. But when it came down to him touching my tatas, I felt so incredibly vulnerable, scared and anxious because I knew that when he felt my port or my boob pothole, he was going to freeze and probably be grossed out. So right there and then I stopped him and said " I want to introduce to you my body my way". So I took his hand and guided him through the port area and explained what it was. I then introduced him to my healthy tata and then to the pothole on the other side. I think by taking control of the situation that way it empowered me and if he had pulled away and said ewwwww, I would of laughed it of and moved on. The next day I felt like a girl who happen to go through cancer. And if things don't work out with this guy, that's okay. It was fun. And if the next guy is grossed out by my pothole or port, well, he's probably not for me.
I think you should give it a whirl. You have nothing to lose. As long as you go into the situation accepting that some guys can't handle the truth and some can...you can deal with the outcome...no matter what it is. You never know what is possible until you try.
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DX 10/2011
PET Scan + MRI 10/2011
Lumpectomy 11/11/11
Stage 2B +++ ER+(10%), PR+(5%), HER2+++(1 positive node, 1 micromets to second node)
AC started 12/2011 ended 1/2012
Taxol + Herceptin weekly for 12 weeks ended 4/2012
30 zaps of radiation done 6/2012
Tamoxifen 6/2012
every 3 weeks of Herceptin for another year.
Metformin Trial 8/12
10/12 MRI- CLEAR
01/13 BRAIN MRI- CLEAR!
01/13 Neck MRI- CLEAR!
FINISHED HERCEPTIN 1/9/2013...Woot Woot
Starting Walter Reed Vaccine Trial 2/13
CT Scans + ultrasound of abdomen CLEAR-5/13
02/2015 through 11/2015 emergency D&Cs for Tamoxifen induced uterine polyps which caused uncontrollable hemorrhaging
12/2015 blood clot to left leg caused by Tamoxifen. No longer taking it. On Xarelto, a blood thinner
12/2015 Ablation to prevent hemorrhaging from potential issues with Tamoxifen residue in my system
1/2016 continuing journey without hormonal therapy. Reevaluating the option of a hysterectomy and oopherectomy.
4/1/2018 2mm stroke. Yes, stroke! No cause ever found but they believe it was a migraine that went bonkers and created a tiny clot. No deficits. I was back to normal with 24hrs. Now on baby aspirin for life.
7/27/2018 hysterectomy and oopherectomy
01/07/2019 Mastectomy and expanders put in
3/22/2019 Vtach, almost died. Cause unknown.
7/22/2019 New perky boobs put in
7/21/2020 Off of all drugs but a baby aspirin because of the stroke in 2018.
www.mychemobag.org
www.facebook.com/mychemobag
8 YEARS NED
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