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Becky · 12-06-2012, 12:35 PM

I think we do forget about those who care for and support us.

You have been given some good advice. I think you both need to realize that your whole married life was one struggle (the miscarriage) after another - having such a sorrow and not be able to get thru that fully only for you to be diagnosed with cancer.

Your husband lost his child and then struggled (and struggles) that he will lose his wife too. He is afraid to be happy because his happiness ended so abruptly.

I am sure you can also understand his pain.

Start slowly with new memories. And I hate to sound like Ann Landers, but perhaps a few couples therapy sessions will help too. You will get thru this bump. He just needs proof that his happiness will stay and it will!

12-06-2012, 12:35 PM	#3
Becky Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Stockton, NJ Posts: 4,179	Re: What do we do now? I think we do forget about those who care for and support us. You have been given some good advice. I think you both need to realize that your whole married life was one struggle (the miscarriage) after another - having such a sorrow and not be able to get thru that fully only for you to be diagnosed with cancer. Your husband lost his child and then struggled (and struggles) that he will lose his wife too. He is afraid to be happy because his happiness ended so abruptly. I am sure you can also understand his pain. Start slowly with new memories. And I hate to sound like Ann Landers, but perhaps a few couples therapy sessions will help too. You will get thru this bump. He just needs proof that his happiness will stay and it will! __________________ Kind regards Becky Found lump via BSE Diagnosed 8/04 at age 45 1.9cm tumor, ER+PR-, Her2 3+(rt side) 2 micromets to sentinel node Stage 2A left 3mm DCIS - low grade ER+PR+Her2 neg lumpectomies 9/7/04 4DD AC followed by 4 DD taxol Used Leukine instead of Neulasta 35 rads on right side only 4/05 started Tamoxifen Started Herceptin 4 months after last Taxol due to trial results and 2005 ASCO meeting & recommendations Oophorectomy 8/05 Started Arimidex 9/05 Finished Herceptin (16 months) 9/06 Arimidex Only Prolia every 6 months for osteopenia NED 18 years! Said Christopher Robin to Pooh: "You must remember this: You're braver than you believe and stronger than you seem and smarter than you think"