[Laurel]

Snufi,

Lani's post was brilliant in its scope and logic. Her suggestions are birthed from a wisdom that begs to be heeded. Please do not even consider going down without a fight. I had a friend who feared chemo so much she fought her breast cancer with supplements and diet. She died in less than three years. She was only in her late forties, beautiful inside and out, a tragic loss to her husband and teenage son.

When I was informed that I was facing not only chemo, but a year of this other stuff (Herceptin), and a mastectomy, my mind was absolutely shell-shocked. I could not accept that this was all necessary for a 7mm invasive component and extensive DCIS. It took me a bit of time to get up to speed on all they were trying to tell me. Thank God for the internet.

At the close of my research I knew I would have to go through chemo if for no other reason than to know that I did everything I could to fight this disease. I surrendered my breasts to the knife, my youth to tamoxifen, and God only knows what else to whatever comes around the corner. What I do know is come what may I fought the good fight.

I told you my first chemo was horrible, really rough. I had my mucous lining of my throat swell to the point where my voice was only a hoarse whisper. It took nearly two weeks to recover. Each AC knocked me on my butt for ten days. Chemo gave me migraines, pain, weakness, misery. I often wonder how Melissa Etheridge could sing at the grammys when I could not even sing in my car like I love to do (badly, yes!). Then the taxol/herceptin combo began. The nerve pain was ridiculous. I mean, seriously, what sadist thinks up this stuff!!!????? But here's the thing, Snufi, I did not want chemo. It terrified me. If I had to do it again, it would terrify me all over again. BUT, I did it. I did it for my children, for my husband, for my aging parents, for my cats, AND yes, I did it for me.

An individual with my pathology has a 1 in 4 chance of recurrence within 10 years untreated. Chemo, dose dense ACTH, Herceptin, and hormone therapy has lessened that ratio to 1 in 20. Those are much better odds to stake your hopes on.

What stinks is we have to play the hand we are dealt. The cards are lousy, but play them we must. The only real alternative is to fold. Don't fold, Snufi, there must be other chemos you can try, or a trial for you to enter.