Hi Gayle,
When I was diagnosed in '99 in the left breast, I had modified radical mast. and opted to delay a decision on reconstruction until after treatment. Wore prosthesis but wasn't comfortable and as I did develop lymphedema in the left arm, the weight and pulling on that left shoulder plus constriction on the underarm axilla area was a concern, so I wore it only when going out.
Six months after finishing rads I recurred to left regional nodes, and by 2002 was NED and on Herceptin maintenance. At that time I had a right simple mast., as I didn't want the constant worry etc. Still delayed a decision on reconstruction, still just wore bra/prothesis when going out or expecting company, but felt so much better not being lopsided anymore.
I just finished rads to the right axilla for recurrence, same profile as original. Now I don't wear the prothesis even when going out, as I couldn't during rads and finally got comfortable being in public without "boobs"
I don't think I'll ever have reconstruction now, but that's my personal take. It is possibly still an option, but the longer I delay, the less important it seems to me and so for that reason am glad I didn't rush into it, lol!
Good luck with your decision, it's such a personal one and only you know how you feel about it in your heart of hearts.
<3 Lolly
P.S. I don't have IBC, just "plain vanilla" Her2.