[CoolBreeze]

It might be hubris to think anybody wants an update from me, but I do want to warn some people about a disease I had no knowledge of that has made me very ill.

Some will remember that I ended up with liver mets just a few months after finishing herceptin. I live near San Francisco and a major cancer center doing cutting edge treatments, and my oncologist referred me for a liver resection.

I was able to have this because I was very healthy, and because cancer was only in my liver and nowhere else. It is pretty unusual to be offered surgery when you are Stage IV so I felt lucky.

They removed the left lobe of my liver and successfully ablated a spot in my right lobe. That was October 3rd. I was in the hospital 6 days.

I went home to recover, planning to go back to work in December. I began to feel ill a couple weeks before Thanksgiving - vague stomach pains. I had my oncologist do a urine test, thinking I had a bladder infection. I took Azo for it, and just didn't feel well.

I had my family over for Thanksgiving but didn't feel well enough to cook so bought a turkey and ordered sides from Whole Foods. I'd had my first post-surgery chemo a week before and my whites were low so Thanksgiving evening I took a neupogen shot. I always have a bad reaction but this one was awful - I was in major pain. The next day, the back pain was gone but i couldn't get out of bed. I had stomach pain but was just super sick.

And, the day after that too, didn't move. Just slept in bed. That night, I took my temperature and had a fever, and also diarrhea started. I thought I was having neutropenic fever and called my onc - they said go to the ER. I really didn't want to as it was Saturday night and I didn't feel well enough to sit there with gunshot victims, but I went.

I was so sick, I couldn't do the forms, just lied down on the floor.

They got me in right away though, and it turns out I had an infection - I was septic! And, I had c-diff, which is a hospital-acquired infection that happens after you take antibiotics. (Which, you always do in the hospital) so I got it in SF.

I was in intensive care for 2 days and was told I would likely lose my colon - I was that bad off. Two surgeons came in to talk to me about it. Somehow, I responded to the medication they gave me: flagyl, vancomycin and one other antibiotic. (I did have a bladder infection.) My heart rate was 160 and my blood pressure was sky high. I had never-ending, and very foul-smelling diarrhea. It was water and they talked about tubing me it was so bad. Sorry if that's TMI. But, in 24 hours the antibiotics started to help, and my heart rate went down to 120 and my blood pressure dropped - but not too low. On day three, the diahrrea wasn't constant but was down to 10 to 15 times a day.

After two days, they put me on a ward and after about three days, they dropped me from surgical service, which meant I could keep my colon. Relief!!!!

It was the worst experience of my life, by far. All my cancer experiences put together were not as bad as that.

Well, I didn't lose my colon. But, I have been sick ever since. I spent 8 days in the hospital and then they let me go but I was not functioning for a couple weeks. My husband had to stay home. But, gradually I am getting better.

I just had a CT and it shows resolving pseudomembraneous colitis and the good news, considering I've only had one chemo in three months - I'm still NED. No cancer anywhere!

I still have a lot of pain in my stomach and still can't eat much. I was 105 pounds before TG and am now 90 pounds. But, I am on the road to recovery.

C-diff comes back so I am doing everything preventative that I can (probiotics mostly) and am watching myself carefully. This illness might mean I lose my job as I've had to take an extra two months off and my protection runs out. (I hope not.)

C-diff can only be killed by hand-washing, not alcohol. It is rampant in hospitals these days - every doctor has told me it's an epidemic but they won't tell you that. If you are in a hospital, and you have had to take antibiotics, please make sure everybody washes their hands before touching you. Be assertive. And, don't take antibiotics if you can possibly help it when you are immuno-compromised.

My doctor (infectious disease specialist) said in 20 years of practice he had not seen a case as bad as mine that didn't end in death or colon removal or both. I'm really grateful I got this second chance and I want to make sure everybody knows about the risks of this horrible disease.