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Pain? yes Appt? yes Relief? ????
Friends,
I feel like all I ever do is ask you to pray for my feeble body and spirit. Please bear with me again...
In about an hour, my wonderful sister is coming to take me on what promises to me a very uncomfortable ride into the city to see the specialist for my ruined back. The IV narcotics and steroids have all run their course, and I'm worried about just how painful this 45 minute trip could be.
Then, I'm worried that once I'm there, they're going to send me back home until they can fit me on the OR
schedule next week. That would mean, not only a painful trip home today...but new adventures in pain when they tell me they can fit me in and fix me up next week. I asked...my insurance will not pay for an ambulance to transport me (preferably unconscious).
As a cancer survivor myself, I know I should be embarrassed for whining about this, but friends...this pain hurts more that I ever could have imagined anything hurting. ANYTHING.
Please pray for me.
Relief from some of the pain...
relief from some of the stress...
courage...and perhaps most of all...
a quick return of the "can-do", peaceful feeling that keeps me going day to day.
Satan's spawn (aka HR director) has been trying hard to steal that peace from me...
and I need strength to fight that feeling of despair off, before it takes hold.
To fight off cancer and lose to that "beast" would be embarrassing beyond endurance. I would never be able to face my loved ones on the "other side" someday, if I gave into that whole mess!
Thanks for your love and prayers my friends! I'll let you know how today goes.
Denise
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1/11-needle biopsy
2/11-Lumpectomy/axillary node dissection - Stage 3c, ER/PR-14/17 nodes
3/11 - Post-op staph infection,cellulitis, lymphedema,seroma,ARRRGH!
4/12/11-A/C x 4, then T/H x 4, H only,Q3 weeks
8/26/11 finished Taxol!!!
10/7/11 mastectomy/DIEP recon
11/11 radiation x28
1/12/12 1st CANCER-VERSARY!
1/12 Low EF/Herceptin "Holiday" :(
2/12 EF up - Back on Herceptin, heart meds
4/2/1212 surgery to repair separated incision from DIEP recon
6/8/12 Return to work :)
6/17/12 Fall, shatter wrist,surgery to repair/insert plate :(
7/10/12 last Herceptin
7/23/12 Brain Mets %$&#! 3cm and 1cm
8/10/12 Gamma knife surgery, LOTS of steroids;start H/Tykerb
8/23/12 Back to work
12/20/12 Injure back-3 weeks in wheel chair
1/12/13 2nd CANCER-VERSARY!
1/14/13 herniate disk in back - surgery to repair
1/27/13 Radiation necrosis - edema in brain - back on steroids - but not back to work - off balance, poor cordination in right arm
5/3/13 Start Avastin to shrink necrosis
5/10/13 begin weaning steroids
6/18/13 Brain MRI - Avastin seems to be working!
6/20/13 quarterly CT - chest, abdomen, pelvis - All Clear!
7/5/13 finally off steroids!!
7/7/13 joined the ranks of the CHEMO NINJAS I am now Tekuto Ki Ariku cancer assassin!
7/13/13 Symptoms return - back on steroids
7/26/13 Back on Avastin - try again!
8/26/13 Not ready to return to classroom yet :( But I CAN walk without holding onto things! :)
9/9/13 Brain MRI - fingers crossed
“ Life is a grindstone, and whether it grinds you down or polishes you up is for you, and you alone, to decide. ” – Cavett Robert
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