HER2 Support Group Forums - View Single Post

Andrea Barnett Budin · 07-12-2013, 02:40 PM

Dearest Cancer Slayer,

I see that look in the docs' eyes. I hear the worry in the nurse's voices. They are concerned. Too familiar with bad scenarios that can look like this.

I just refuse to identify with my emotional reactions. The experience is duly noted. Acknowledged. Even actively participated in when need be, as you have been doing Denise. You KNOW when to come out of the sunshine state of denial. I don't think it's that, personally. Fully aware, you are choosing to live on the sunny side of the street.

Your fears are not truth. Decidedly, leave no room for imaginings to distort reality. This isn't a time to postulate or assume. Don't blur reality. Just live in The Moment! Which is what you naturally do, I think.

Don't let the voice in your head rule you. You have this moment. And this... Don't go anywhere. This Moment is safe. The love and prayers offered to and for you will sustain you.

Fear can't exist if you are full of the Light of hope. In my heart I believe in miracles. Not bad endings!

Steroids do protect you from the side effects. Even they are not all bad! They're good for something! I love that you negotiated. I would and have done the exact same thing. YOU are in charge of your team of medical experts. It is YOUR body after all!

Do not believe in the story that seems to be presenting itself to you and scaring you.

Love, prayers, genuine caring and enorrrrmmmmoussss admiration -- oh and true appreciation for your wit and wily ways.

Andi

07-12-2013, 02:40 PM	#30
Andrea Barnett Budin Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: LAND OF YES! w/home in Boca Raton, Florida Orig from L.I., N.Y. Ever hovering IN THE NOW... Posts: 1,904	Re: SMACKDOWN Victory! Dearest Cancer Slayer, I see that look in the docs' eyes. I hear the worry in the nurse's voices. They are concerned. Too familiar with bad scenarios that can look like this. I just refuse to identify with my emotional reactions. The experience is duly noted. Acknowledged. Even actively participated in when need be, as you have been doing Denise. You KNOW when to come out of the sunshine state of denial. I don't think it's that, personally. Fully aware, you are choosing to live on the sunny side of the street. Your fears are not truth. Decidedly, leave no room for imaginings to distort reality. This isn't a time to postulate or assume. Don't blur reality. Just live in The Moment! Which is what you naturally do, I think. Don't let the voice in your head rule you. You have this moment. And this... Don't go anywhere. This Moment is safe. The love and prayers offered to and for you will sustain you. Fear can't exist if you are full of the Light of hope. In my heart I believe in miracles. Not bad endings! Steroids do protect you from the side effects. Even they are not all bad! They're good for something! I love that you negotiated. I would and have done the exact same thing. YOU are in charge of your team of medical experts. It is YOUR body after all! Do not believe in the story that seems to be presenting itself to you and scaring you. Love, prayers, genuine caring and enorrrrmmmmoussss admiration -- oh and true appreciation for your wit and wily ways. Andi __________________ Andi BB '95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive... '98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!) + good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either... Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...