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NanaJoni · 11-04-2012, 09:23 AM

Geetanjali - during the time we (I use "we" because of all the people I love and who love me that were affected by my cancer diagnosis) were actively battling against this awful disease, that I'd rather be the one with the cancer than watching someone I love deal with it. It's frustrating and infuriating - but that's okay. Whatever you feel - anger, sadness, fear - you need to let it happen and then use it to fight. Your mom is so blessed to have you with her. My daughter was able to empathisize with me in ways my husband couldn't. She has a daughter and that fear of this disease for the future can be terrible. But she helped me at the worst of times and we rejoice together today that we've come through such a trial together. Your mom seems strong because she can draw strength from you and others who care for her - but she'll have bad moments and days too. So sorry you are having these thoughts today but each day as you move forward will bring you closer to the time when she will be cancer free and healthy again. Come here anytime and let it all out - and you never have apologize to us.

11-04-2012, 09:23 AM	#3
NanaJoni Senior Member Join Date: May 2010 Location: Elizabethton, TN Posts: 418	Re: Gasping for breath... Geetanjali - during the time we (I use "we" because of all the people I love and who love me that were affected by my cancer diagnosis) were actively battling against this awful disease, that I'd rather be the one with the cancer than watching someone I love deal with it. It's frustrating and infuriating - but that's okay. Whatever you feel - anger, sadness, fear - you need to let it happen and then use it to fight. Your mom is so blessed to have you with her. My daughter was able to empathisize with me in ways my husband couldn't. She has a daughter and that fear of this disease for the future can be terrible. But she helped me at the worst of times and we rejoice together today that we've come through such a trial together. Your mom seems strong because she can draw strength from you and others who care for her - but she'll have bad moments and days too. So sorry you are having these thoughts today but each day as you move forward will bring you closer to the time when she will be cancer free and healthy again. Come here anytime and let it all out - and you never have apologize to us. __________________ Joni -64 yrs old - 3/01/10: found lump in rt.breast 3/12/10: mammogram/ultrasnd/biopsy-invasive bc & DCIS; 2 tumors (2cm er-/pr-/HER2-& 1.8 cm er-/pr-/HER2+); grade 3;poorly differentiated 3/24/10:sent.node biopsy clear 3/31/10:bi-lateral mx.;atypical ductal hyperplasia-lft side 4/21/10:wound revision-infection/scarring 4/28/10:seromas both sides 5/21/10:port installed,TCH chemo (6 x 3 wks); Herc,-1yr; 33 rad tx after chemo 07/2010: port not working-2nd port didnt'work;3rd port opposite side. 07/2010: 2 weeks after 3rd port surgery, threw 3 pulm. emboli-IVC filter installed; warfarin 08/2010: hospitalizations w/3 of chemos; decision to stop after 4th-on to radiation in Oct 2010;Herc cont. 12/03/2010 - finished 33 rads Hooray!! cont. Herc. every 3 wks 4/2011 - pneumonia ??? Nope-radiation pneumonitis. No more Herc. 5/2011 - NED!!! port out. 8/2011 - clean PET & CT scans.Still NED 7/2012 - Still NED/very blessed. 2/2013 - 6 mos checkup-all clear. CA2729 down frm 13 to 11.