[chrisy]

Rosa,
First of all, there is much to be hopeful for. Do not lose heart, and do not let your mom, either. True, you "don't understand" - nobody who hasn't been through this can, really. But that doesn't mean you have nothing useful to offer.

You have come to a good place for support - there are many many people here who are actively in the fight, many who have already completed therapy, and others who, like you, are trying to offer support to loved ones.

I wonder if you can clarify a couple of things.

First, I'm troubled by the side effects you describe. It seems pretty extreme. Are these related to your mom's treatment? My assumption is yes, as your mom was treated with lumpectomy and you have not said anything about evidence of other issues.

Everyone responds to treatment differently in terms of side effects. What chemo is your mom taking? Some are tougher than others. But they do work well on Her2+ cancer, and with the Herceptin this type of cancer (which used to be a poor prognosis) is now very treatable and has a favorable prognosis!

Regardless of what combo she is on she should discuss these immediately with her doctor or oncology nurse - there are lots of meds that can prevent or manage a lot of the side effects of treament. When I had chemo, I had several "premeds" to prevent nausea, infusion reactions, etc.

I also had additional meds to take home, with instructions to take at the first sign of problems as it is easier to get under control before it's out of control so to speak.

It is not fun, but most chemos these days are definitely "doable". Help is available and although I can understand her feelings, the doctor is trying to kill any stray cancer, NOT kill the patient! Expect/demand that the doctor works with your mom to mitigate the side effects.

The whole idea of dealing with cancer, and having chemo, is quite depressing in itself. If you also feel totally crappy from the treatment, it can make you feel like what's the point. BUT, people do get through it, and your mom can too. She needs some support in managing the side effects for sure.

I know you will get many encouraging responses from people who are doing it, and have done it.

Cancer suck, but life is still good - and worth fighting for.

Do not lose heart,
chris