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Andrea Barnett Budin · 12-11-2007, 07:11 PM

Well, I can only commiserate w/y'all. I had a mastec in '95. 9 cm tumor w/2 lymph nodes out of 21. 4th stage ILC. Then 4 Adria + 8 CMF and baldness, including eyebrows and lashes and everywhere. It all grew back. Then '98 multiple mets to my liver. Now we found out I was HER2+ 80%. ER/PR-. Taxotere for 9 mnths, beginning Sept. Nov we added Herceptin. I have been on Vit H now for 9 yrs!!!!!!!!! This is what *my* Survivorship looks like. NED since May of '99.

Had the whole bald thing again. But this second time, no eyebrows came back. And only a few of my really long and thick lashes grew back. About 17 of them. I have named them...

Thick curly hair w/great body and sheen went w/the cancer (and the breast) -- that's how I see it. I now have thin, limp, severely dry hair w/no definitive hair line. My widow's peak has vanished. My daughter mentioned something about my high forehead! She is sweet. It is a receding hairline in reality. Kind of like male pattern baldness. So I *do* my hair to camouflage this unfeminine look. I fake it.

Where'd it go? With the cancer. We don't get to pick what we end up with, except when it comes to ATTITUDE.

I work w/what I have. I make do. I exfoliate, moisturize, add some color, create eyebrows every morning and build lashes with a steady hand. I use volumizing shampoo, a lot of conditioner and do the best I can w/what I have to work w/. By the time the world sees me, I hear, You look great! (I always think, you mean for a 4th stage chemo patient?) Well, you know what?! I am grateful to be here, even though I want it ALL back.

I have lived to greet 5 grandchildren (now ages 1 to 11) and I think Life is sweet. Hope this helps some of you get a grip. I know. Not what we signed up for. But I must admit I feel pretty darn joyful for a balding chick w/no eyebrows. Oh, did I mention? I now have a mustache. Do you call that *fair*? I'm thinking, Someone has a really weird sense of humor... And you know what? I'm still smiling anyway.

PS... Nitewind -- so nice to meet you! You're the one from the middle!
Andi

12-11-2007, 07:11 PM	#9
Andrea Barnett Budin Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: LAND OF YES! w/home in Boca Raton, Florida Orig from L.I., N.Y. Ever hovering IN THE NOW... Posts: 1,904	I Know. It Isn't What We Asked For... Well, I can only commiserate w/y'all. I had a mastec in '95. 9 cm tumor w/2 lymph nodes out of 21. 4th stage ILC. Then 4 Adria + 8 CMF and baldness, including eyebrows and lashes and everywhere. It all grew back. Then '98 multiple mets to my liver. Now we found out I was HER2+ 80%. ER/PR-. Taxotere for 9 mnths, beginning Sept. Nov we added Herceptin. I have been on Vit H now for 9 yrs!!!!!!!!! This is what my Survivorship looks like. NED since May of '99. Had the whole bald thing again. But this second time, no eyebrows came back. And only a few of my really long and thick lashes grew back. About 17 of them. I have named them... Thick curly hair w/great body and sheen went w/the cancer (and the breast) -- that's how I see it. I now have thin, limp, severely dry hair w/no definitive hair line. My widow's peak has vanished. My daughter mentioned something about my high forehead! She is sweet. It is a receding hairline in reality. Kind of like male pattern baldness. So I do my hair to camouflage this unfeminine look. I fake it. Where'd it go? With the cancer. We don't get to pick what we end up with, except when it comes to ATTITUDE. I work w/what I have. I make do. I exfoliate, moisturize, add some color, create eyebrows every morning and build lashes with a steady hand. I use volumizing shampoo, a lot of conditioner and do the best I can w/what I have to work w/. By the time the world sees me, I hear, You look great! (I always think, you mean for a 4th stage chemo patient?) Well, you know what?! I am grateful to be here, even though I want it ALL back. I have lived to greet 5 grandchildren (now ages 1 to 11) and I think Life is sweet. Hope this helps some of you get a grip. I know. Not what we signed up for. But I must admit I feel pretty darn joyful for a balding chick w/no eyebrows. Oh, did I mention? I now have a mustache. Do you call that fair? I'm thinking, Someone has a really weird sense of humor... And you know what? I'm still smiling anyway. PS... Nitewind -- so nice to meet you! You're the one from the middle! Andi __________________ Andi BB '95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive... '98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!) + good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either... Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...