[romo9]

Hi ! I am also in the same situation as you with 18 positive nodes. Its now 2 years and nine months since my diagnosis.
Pehaps this may help.
There are persons who shape their lives by the fear of death.
And persons who shape their lives by the joy and satisfaction of life.
The former live dying;and the latter die living.
I know that fate may stop me tomorrow,but death is an irrelevant contingency.
Whenever it comes,I intend to die living.
I have no fear of death because I feel that I have lived.
I have loved and been loved.
I have been challenged in my personal and professional life and have managed,if not a perfect score,at least a passing grade and perhaps a little better than that.
I have left my mark on people and I have come to a point in life where I no longer need toleave my mark on people.
I can look forward to the last act of my life however short or long it may be,in the knowledge that I have finally figured out who I am and how to handle life.
There is no way to prevent dying.
But the cure for the fear of death is to make sure that you have lived.
Harold S Kushner.
So look up skiing again after 20 years. Those black runs dont scare me any more!! Romo