[Andrea Barnett Budin]

Hi Michka,

I had tram flap recon in '98. What the hey is SGAP???

I had it done at the same time, on the same table, w/my mastec.

My recon breast was Dolly Partonesque. I am a 36 D, but wow! Doc (perfectionist, brilliant, specializes in this procedure -- on Long Island, 30 min from Manhattan) asked if I was pleased.

Too big, too high (like a 16 yr old's breast). He said they make it overly large b/c if it is too small then you have to go back into the hospital for another surgery, but if it is too large it is a simple liposuction (???sp) procedure in the office.

After chemo + a few mnths to heal, he lipo. I returned a wk later and he lipo'd again. It is perfected shaped but still too high. I guess they guestimate when you are laying down how to match the other one, which does not take into consideration the degree of sagging incurred due to one's age.

But in a bra now I am even. Without a bra, lopsided. Yet, happy to have 2 breasts. Nurses (from varying doc offices in NY and Fla) who see me in exam rooms always comment about what a great job my doc did. Really????? I ask. Oh yes, you should what some women look like that come in here. So, I am grateful.

I do know some women who had saline implants w/expanders, which I was not a candidate for. They all seem unhappy w/the end result. They go back for adjustments. Their nipples are pointing in different directions.

May be the nature of the situation.

I wish I could have had implants, yet...

My plastic surgeon insisted on creating a nipple for me. It did not really take. Whatever. I just wanted to be able to wear clothing and look normal, balanced. I did not want to wear a prosthetic, which I hear, and have noted, slip about and peek out, exposing a bit of a cavity where the breast should be.

With tram flap they take skin from your belly which my doc warned me would be lighter in color. I said fine. Well, I look kind of like a patchwork quilt, but again, glad for what some call my *foob* (fake boob). Makes me smile.

What befuddled me the most was that when I went for my first mammog after my TRAM flap surgery, I was told I was to have a UNILATERAL, vs bilateral. You see, I think of my foob as a breast. Whereas medical people know there is no breast tissue in my foob and it is therefore not in need of mammog.

I said to my husband, so does that mean if GOD FORBID ONE GAZILLION X I had cancer there, I would have stomach ca????? LOL...

As for the cut from hip to hip (the supposed equivalent of a tummy tuck) -- mine is quite jagged. Not that I would be caught in a bikini, but alas this scar cinches that as a major NO.

Please let us know how you are. Please don't think you look like Frankenstein. You are YOU, and you are beautiful. I did go through the I am disfigured phase, but have spent much time learning to love myself as I am. My beloved husband says I look perfect. (He is older and his vision is not great, but I love him to pieces!) Wishing you success in your mission to have a pair of matching breasts. Seems like such a simple desire, doesn't it?

Andi