[v-ness]

i think it is a good idea to have a memorial section. it could be located down at the bottom far from the Newcomer's Section and the Her2 group, Caregiver's Corner, etc. not easily found, not the first thing seen. my personal take is that those who have died deserve it. they probably gave a lot to this site to have become well-remembered. i find that when someone dies, people naturally respond with sadness and shock, but wouldn't it be lovely if there were a place where people could write their own eulogies and pay homage to that person's life. it wouldn't have to be about what kind of cancer, how big a tumor, what kind of treatment. it could focus on what we learned from knowing that person a little or a lot, the impact they had upon us, the positive attitude they may have had, the grace with with they lived. like a memorial service. in real life, we do not pretend people didn't die. they do, and they do more often with cancer.

it seems as though in a way, they drop from our ranks and are mourned on one thread about their death and then move on. a newbie perusing the site *will* find posts about who got their wings or who lost their battle if they do any kind of searches for information. they might find, as i did, someone who was really interesting and wonder where she went, like i did with julierene. the newbies are not spared the knowledge that people here die and it is reality, people die. why cloak that? if anything, as a newbie, i would have been very touched to see there is a community here that values their lost friends so much that they even do a tribute site. i would hope i could be part of that community and IF that happened to me, that i would be so well-remembered for something, anything.

many of those who have inspired me and my attitude have been some of the very people who lost their lives. you can't protect people. if that is a concern, then more people could work the Newcomer's Corner offering reassurance, guidance, help, someone to talk to. newbies have already thought about death the first minute they were diagnosed. it comes with this territory. to have someone tell them about Andi BB or christine and the many living with stage 4 and mets and the high rate of success with early diagnosis, that will balance out any memorial page, in my humble opinion. my cancer life began with a friend with triple negative BC and later brain mets. she died on my last day of chemo. because of her, i'd done frequent self exams and i attribute my early detection much to her. her loss was devastating, but i didn't leave the church thinking i would fall apart because of her death. if anything, i went forth more determined to live after listening to the loving memorials people shared.

just my nickel's worth.

valerie

do you really think the site would need permission from family to repost what the individual already posted themselves? it does not seem so, if we were not mentioning full names, just their handles here.