[JillaryJill]

Ben,
I had TCH and other than taking off work Thursday for the infusion...I worked full time through all 6 cycles. Also worked full time during radiation (had radiation at 7:00am in the morning). I had a Neulasta the day after chemo. My husband gave me the shot. I pinched some of the fatty part of my tummy and he gave me the shot to that area. Totally painless...it works with the bone marrow so it did cause joint and muscle soreness for a few days, but the meds they gave me to counter act this worked great. I never had to miss a chemo cycle...due to low white cell count...so I swear by Neulasta.
I had a port a cath installed, worked like a dream. I had it removed 2 years after I was diagnosed. That is the timing protocol that my onc suggested. I have to admit, I could not wait to get it out, I hated having that bump under my skin. I have a 1 inch scar near my clavicle bone..I am putting scar cream on it and the scar has faded.
In terms of surgery...yes surgical removal is the first defense, radiation is a secondary defense to prevent a regional recurance, chest wall, skin etc. Chemo protects the rest of the body for any small cells that can not be detected by imaging.
This is Her2...throw everything at it you can up front. It's an agressive breast cancer, but the treatments/ medicines available are terrific.
You and your wife are overwhelmed as you should be...the diagnosis is such a shock and the year after is a whirlwind of Dr's appointments and treatments. But it is all doable. We sold our townhouse, moved during the month of my 2nd chemo, had our small lake cottage torn down and built our dream home on our lake. So the year I was diagnosed and treated consisted of Dr. appointments, working full time ( although I am in sales, so I can work remotely sometimes, and I did not aggressively pursue new business, I just maintained what I had) working with an architect and builder, picking out all of the items for the new house and moving. This sounds weird but most of the time, I tried to pretend I did not have cancer....and kept really busy living my life. Our kids thought we were crazy for doing all of this...but I think it helped us get through the experience.
Good luck to you both.