[Mary Jo]

HI G.Ann

I, too, hear you. I hear you loud and clear. Especially the part about "going back to square one" while we wait for test results. I can't imagine that any of us couldn't, knowing all we know. At the beginning we think "nahh, it could never happen me" but when it does, well, reality bites you in the - you know what! So, when biopsy or scan time comes we now know that anything is possible. Then comes the hard part....waiting....stressing....thinking every bad thought imaginable.....OH it's hell!

On a more positive note now.......for me personally there is nothing better - more comforting or more real....than in staying in close contact with my God through prayer. I know that may sound cliche' to many but God is real...His love for us in real and although bad things happen to good people, God doesn't cause them to happen. So, while I wait and while I stress and while I think of everything bad thing that might happen to me I pray and ask God to give me His comfort and peace. Then I focus on all the eternal promises He promises to me by believing in His son Jesus. I know in my heart of hearts that no matter what happens to me His love and promise of eternal peace and joy are waiting for me because I believe that Jesus is my Savior and died for me. It's the ONLY thing that brings me any sort of comfort and peace while I stress.

Debbie made a good point (in her post to Sherry about good books).....we are all dying. Yes, that is true. From the day we were all born we've begun to die. We are all a journey and so many things will happen to each of us on that journey and many of them not good BUT how we deal with those "things" makes all the difference. I believe the verse in the bible that says "for we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and were called according to His purpose.."Romans 8:28 If we focus on what's negative and run with it then it all seems negative but if we trust and believe that God will work all things in our life for good you'll be amazed at the blessings you will find along the way. I don't just speak flippantly but I speak from a heart that knows it to be true because God doesn't lie.

So, G.Ann, those our my words of wisdom.......it's what "works" for me. Does that mean I don't stress or worry over "cancer" - sadly, not at all.....for goodness sake we are human beings.....but it helps me keep it all in perspective....knowing I have a Savior who knows my tomorrow's already....that helps me. Psalm 139:16 says ....."all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one came to pass....." That verse has always helped me "rest" while on this journey. I know that God knows each day where I'll be ... and I'm right where I am suppose to be.....Does that mean God doesn't grieve when His loved ones suffer?...ABSOLUTELY not! It means that we live in a fallen world, where freewill is ours. While we journey this road we will have many sad but also happy, joyous days and our God will be with us each step along the way until the Day He calls us Home to Himself to live in peace, joy and love eternally.

Sorry to sound preachy but you asked for my "words of wisdom" and here is my heart on my sleeve. I pray it brings you some sort of comfort and peace as you wait and I'm sorry you are in this "waiting pattern" - it's awful, I know.

Love to you dear sister......

Mary Jo
"For God so loved the world that He gave His One and only Son that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16