HER2 Support Group Forums - View Single Post - How can I look more appealing??depressed kat

Barbara H. · 08-07-2006, 05:10 AM

Dear Kat,
As I was getting ready to reply to you I read Tom's reply. He says it much more eloquently than I could. There is a women at my cancer center who is a social worker and checks in occasionally with the patients. She told me that I could call her day or night. You could check to see if there is someone on the staff you could talk at your cancer center who is experienced with these issues.

I would have a serious talk with your husband about what is going on. Explain that in order to solve this you both need some intervention and that if he doesn't agree to get some help together for your marriage, then you are moving on with your life. You don't have to mention the big "D" word at this point, just that life is too short and you intend living it to the max. Try to rehearse what you will say and be as composed and calm as possible as you say it. Even if he passes your ideas off, I think it would be helpful at least for you to speak with someone who has experience with this issues that arrise when a member of the family has a health issue. This can happen not only with couples, but also when children in the family are not well. Some people just have a very different way of dealing with stress, or what life brings, and some people never learn to deal with it. I assume you want your relationship to work or you wouldn't be posting this. Let him know that your relationship is important to you, but that you feel it needs some interevention.

Good luck! Since you know him best you will find the best way to approach him.
Best regards,
Barbara H.

08-07-2006, 05:10 AM	#40
Barbara H. Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Newton, MA Posts: 951	Dear Kat, As I was getting ready to reply to you I read Tom's reply. He says it much more eloquently than I could. There is a women at my cancer center who is a social worker and checks in occasionally with the patients. She told me that I could call her day or night. You could check to see if there is someone on the staff you could talk at your cancer center who is experienced with these issues. I would have a serious talk with your husband about what is going on. Explain that in order to solve this you both need some intervention and that if he doesn't agree to get some help together for your marriage, then you are moving on with your life. You don't have to mention the big "D" word at this point, just that life is too short and you intend living it to the max. Try to rehearse what you will say and be as composed and calm as possible as you say it. Even if he passes your ideas off, I think it would be helpful at least for you to speak with someone who has experience with this issues that arrise when a member of the family has a health issue. This can happen not only with couples, but also when children in the family are not well. Some people just have a very different way of dealing with stress, or what life brings, and some people never learn to deal with it. I assume you want your relationship to work or you wouldn't be posting this. Let him know that your relationship is important to you, but that you feel it needs some interevention. Good luck! Since you know him best you will find the best way to approach him. Best regards, Barbara H.