[Mary Jo]

Hello Ladies.....

I can speak to this. At the time of my diagnosis my only option was right breast mastectomy because my tumor was so large (4 cm) unless I wanted to do chemo first to shrink the tumor. I did not want to do that and knew, for me personally, mastectomy was the only way to go. As a matter of fact, at that time, I wanted a bilateral mastectomy - the left of course being a prophylactic. My breast surgeon talked me out of that, although, she was willing to do it and understood my reasons. But, I let her lead me and opted for just the right breast. After my 8 cycles of dose dense chemo and my 28 radiation treatments it was mammogram time for my left breast. Yup, you guessed it.........a suspicious area was found. This suspicious area was an area of micro-calcifications near the chest wall that they said had changed since my mammo 6 months prior. So, now I had to go through a stereotactic biopsy. You can only imagine the fear and anxiety I had over this - especially at that point in my journey - oh my gosh - I cried through the entire stereotactic biopsy because I couldn't believe we were talking possible cancer again. It absolutely floored me. The part that made me most fearful was the constant chattering in the biopsy room of "we need to get more in the picture - it's right near the chest wall" - the chest wall - the chest wall - the chest wall - that's all I could hear and that scared the living daylights out of me.

SO........................thankfully, the biopsy results were benign HOWEVER at that point (even before that point) I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that breast had to go. There was no way I was going to wait until that area of calcification turned into breast cancer (and I was very fearful that it would) and there was no way I was going through that "hell" every 6 months. My breast surgeon didn't even balk when I told her I wanted a prophylactic mastectomy and said if she were me she would do the same thing.

I never, ever regretted that decsion. Ever. When the pathology results of that mastectomy came back showing no cancer at all anywhere - not even any atypical hyperplasia cells - I was more relieved yet. Some people asked me if after I heard there was nothing if I regretted my decision I said "absolutely no way!" If anything, it gave me even more peace of mind.

I was breastless for almost 3 years and just recently had bilateral DIEP reconstruction. It was time for me and I felt ready to go ahead with this surgery. However, that in no way means that I felt regret over losing my breasts. I felt very happy the "originals" were gone. Very happy. The originals only gave me problems and I was happy to see them go. Living with none was really ok with me - I never felt like less of a woman or that I needed boobs to feel whole, but, after 3 years I felt I wanted them again BUT this time I was getting new ones....made from my abdomin - no breast tissue. They turned out beautifully and I couldn't be happier. Hope these new girls serve me a bit better than the last 2.

I hope you can come to a decision that brings you peace.

Mary Jo