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Dear Kim,
I may have a bit of a different perspective on this God thing. I was raised in a pretty much fundamental religion. I believed that God was a loving God and that He would not make me sick as a form of punishment for something I did or did not do. My first baby was stillborn and my father suggested that maybe God was punishing me because I was not living as I had been brought up
to believe. I personally want nothing to do with that God. My God loves me and does not ask me to do anything to receive that love. It is unconditional!
Now to the meat of my post. I am a member of a 12 step program and have been for over 25 years. After about 13 years I quit going to meetings although I did maintain close relationships with "my group of friends." About 5 years ago I started going to meetings but only occasionally. Then came March 9, 2005 and breast cancer. I did not rush to my church, but instead to the place where God, as I understood him, could be found. And there He was in the people that were there. I am absolutely amazed that this disease has not only not made me angry at Him but has served to strengthen my faith that nothing happens in God's world by mistake. I truly believe that!
However, I do get angry at what this disease does to people. I rarely read the posts without tears. I have only been here a year
but in that time people have died that I had come to love by reading their posts-Lyn, the living legend, Al's wife, Linda and others. I have cried for Yoda, too, and prayed for his recovery!
I guess what I mean to say is that God loves us regardless.
I pray that your faith can be strengthened. and you can find a God who loves you regardless.
Love & prayers,
Marlys
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