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NEDenise · 11-24-2012, 10:42 AM

Dear Jen,
I hear the pain and betrayal in every word. I have been where you are. I lost my beloved mom/best friend in the world to small cell lung cancer. We only had 18 months from diagnosis to the end of her life...all of it filled with terrible chemo-side effects. Then, I was diagnosed only a few months later.
If you really want my take on all of this...please PM me. If, on the other hand, you're venting, and don't really want anyone's opinion...I totally respect that too. You are certainly entitled to feel all the things you are feeling so passionately. So, either way, I'd never try to convince you that one way of thinking is better than another. Sounds like you've had enough of that to last a lifetime anyway!
Right now, it seems to me, that you are deep in the heart of an "Oreo cookie of horror"...you're the "cream" caught in the middle...having to watch helplessly as your mom suffers on one side, and your precious child on the other. (sorry if that ruins Oreos for you)
My heart goes out to you, Jen.
With love,
Denise

11-24-2012, 10:42 AM	#51
NEDenise Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Philly Suburbs Posts: 1,709	Re: Brain Mets Shrinking Yay, God!! Dear Jen, I hear the pain and betrayal in every word. I have been where you are. I lost my beloved mom/best friend in the world to small cell lung cancer. We only had 18 months from diagnosis to the end of her life...all of it filled with terrible chemo-side effects. Then, I was diagnosed only a few months later. If you really want my take on all of this...please PM me. If, on the other hand, you're venting, and don't really want anyone's opinion...I totally respect that too. You are certainly entitled to feel all the things you are feeling so passionately. So, either way, I'd never try to convince you that one way of thinking is better than another. Sounds like you've had enough of that to last a lifetime anyway! Right now, it seems to me, that you are deep in the heart of an "Oreo cookie of horror"...you're the "cream" caught in the middle...having to watch helplessly as your mom suffers on one side, and your precious child on the other. (sorry if that ruins Oreos for you) My heart goes out to you, Jen. With love, Denise __________________ 1/11-needle biopsy 2/11-Lumpectomy/axillary node dissection - Stage 3c, ER/PR-14/17 nodes 3/11 - Post-op staph infection,cellulitis, lymphedema,seroma,ARRRGH! 4/12/11-A/C x 4, then T/H x 4, H only,Q3 weeks 8/26/11 finished Taxol!!! 10/7/11 mastectomy/DIEP recon 11/11 radiation x28 1/12/12 1st CANCER-VERSARY! 1/12 Low EF/Herceptin "Holiday" :( 2/12 EF up - Back on Herceptin, heart meds 4/2/1212 surgery to repair separated incision from DIEP recon 6/8/12 Return to work :) 6/17/12 Fall, shatter wrist,surgery to repair/insert plate :( 7/10/12 last Herceptin 7/23/12 Brain Mets %$&#! 3cm and 1cm 8/10/12 Gamma knife surgery, LOTS of steroids;start H/Tykerb 8/23/12 Back to work 12/20/12 Injure back-3 weeks in wheel chair 1/12/13 2nd CANCER-VERSARY! 1/14/13 herniate disk in back - surgery to repair 1/27/13 Radiation necrosis - edema in brain - back on steroids - but not back to work - off balance, poor cordination in right arm 5/3/13 Start Avastin to shrink necrosis 5/10/13 begin weaning steroids 6/18/13 Brain MRI - Avastin seems to be working! 6/20/13 quarterly CT - chest, abdomen, pelvis - All Clear! 7/5/13 finally off steroids!! 7/7/13 joined the ranks of the CHEMO NINJAS I am now Tekuto Ki Ariku cancer assassin! 7/13/13 Symptoms return - back on steroids 7/26/13 Back on Avastin - try again! 8/26/13 Not ready to return to classroom yet :( But I CAN walk without holding onto things! :) 9/9/13 Brain MRI - fingers crossed “ Life is a grindstone, and whether it grinds you down or polishes you up is for you, and you alone, to decide. ” – Cavett Robert